Chapter 6: The Azure Princess Part 4

– People who suffer from divine fever are so rare, and once symptoms appear, they almost always die, so physicians probably have little experience treating or researching the disease.

– Therefore, advice from someone who has cared for a sufferer of the divine fever is necessary. I mean someone who has witnessed the progression of the disease firsthand.

– Fortunately, there happens to be one individual within the inner palace who has such experience.

The headmaid of the Azure Dragon Palace rushed in and burst through the back gate of the Heavenly Dragon Hall.

Her disheveled hair and dirt-covered clothes were a clear sign that she was far from ordinary.

The court ladies working late were startled. The Heavenly Dragon Hall where the Heavenly Maiden resides was a place where even the Emperor conducted himself with decorum.

Even if it’s just a humble back gate, it’s not a place where a maid from another palace should carelessly enter.

Moreover, this is not just any maid, but the headmaid of the Azure Dragon Palace. She was looking as though she had been through a rough ordeal.

The court ladies were terrified, thinking perhaps a demon had appeared, but then a petite maid following the headmaid shouted.

“Ran-ah! Are you here, Seol Ran-ah?”

Bun Ryeong, an apprentice maid at the Azure Dragon Palace, was a close friend of Seol Ran.

Since joining the Azure Dragon Palace, she had been too busy dedicating herself to the Azure Princess to meet Seol Ran but they shared a special bond nonetheless.

“What on earth is happening! Hui Yin!”

The headmaid of the Heavenly Dragon Hall appeared above on the balcony.

The old headmaid, a confidant of the Heavenly Maiden, knew the name of the Azure Dragon Palace’s headmaid precisely.

“We need help! Is there an apprentice maid here named Seol Ran…?”

One of the apprentice maids scrubbing the floors was startled.

***

I suffered from the divine fever when I was around seven years old. It was when I was much younger than the current Azure Princess and the illness lasted a much longer period.

When I was cast into this world, my body was already engulfed in searing pain, and it wouldn’t have been surprising if I had died right then.

Yet, I survived. Perhaps it was due to a mental strength far beyond my young body, but that alone couldn’t be the sole reason for my survival.

Seol Ran took care of me while I was staying in an old, abandoned house on the outskirts of a rural village.

Despite the odds, where even a hundred or a thousand sufferers might not yield a single survivor, Seol Ran never doubted my survival and continued to care for me as I battled the divine fever.

While fleeing from the Huayongseol clan, she had sold all the heirlooms she carried and spent the money on visiting every pharmacy before trying every medicine known to be effective.

Night after night, she sat by my side, holding my hand and whispering relentlessly that I would survive.

At that time, Seol Ran couldn’t have been more than ten years old. She was at an age where she needed to be protected rather than protecting someone.

Indeed, not just anyone could be the protagonist of a romance fantasy novel.

The conditions were far more dire than those in the Azure Dragon Palace.

The money from the sold heirlooms that was meant to last a lifetime was squandered on medicine and it was difficult to afford even one meal a day.

At night, the abandoned house let in water, and occasionally, demonic spirits roamed in search of prey.

But every night, Seol Ran would sit beside me, clutch my hand tightly, and pray fervently for my survival.

“I fed you refining pills and dried fish, and instead of regular water, I gave you spirit water. It seemed to reduce the fever somewhat, but you were mostly in a daze. That was the most effective medicine we had.”

In front of the main gate of the Azure Dragon Palace.

Even though it was late at night and the moon was high in the sky, Seol Ran rushed over to speak with us.

“Is the Azure Princess…. suffering from the divine fever?”

“Perhaps.”

“Good heavens…. How terrible it must be for her…”

The nature of the Azure Princess’s illness, the divine fever, was information that should not be carelessly disclosed, but Seol Ran could be trusted to keep it secret.

“Seeing as the level of her illusion technique has risen to this level, the critical point must not be far away.”

“Yes, the critical point must be close at hand. If you give her spirit water and she calms down a bit, that should help her hold on. However… controlling the illusion technique… might not go as intended. Even Tae Pyeong struggled with her powers in the end?”

Seol Ran spoke up to that point and took a deep breath.

The illusion technique of the Azure Princess was said of a remarkable caliber, making it difficult for the average maid to even approach her.

Suddenly, Seol Ran swooped in and lifted the hem of my sleeve.

That place was full of traces of numerous self-inflicted stab wounds with a dagger. It was to drive away the illusion and maintain my sanity.

“My goodness… Tae Pyeong…! I told you not to harm yourself…! How could you…!”

“Don’t worry too much about it. A bowl of soup rice, some medicine from the White Immortal Elder, and good sleep can heal these wounds.”

“The body may heal, but the pain can consume the mind! If you continue to be exposed to such indiscriminate illusion techniques…”

“It seems the maids of the Azure Dragon Palace have already reached their limits.”

I lowered my sleeve and gently pushed Seol Ran away by the shoulders.

“Let’s have a cup of tea after work, Ran-noonim.”

I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Worry filled Seol Ran’s eyes, but it wasn’t something to be overly concerned about.

***

The maids of the Azure Dragon Palace were utterly dismayed.

As the Azure Princess’s illusion technique intensified, Tae Pyeong’s wounds only multiplied with each visit to her chamber.

Every time he emerged from her room, he would rush to heal his body, but it was just a treatment and did not provide a fundamental solution.

There was much talk of the warrior spirit, but even that has its limits.

The act of continuously stabbing a dagger into one’s body with the sole intention of saving the Azure Princess… how much it will eat away at one’s spirit.

However, the warrior of the White Immortal Palace did not change his expression at all.

He took the place of the maids, removed the vomit-covered bedding, cleaned the room, fetched water, and went in with porridge and fed her.

Every morning he ventilated the room, and every night he sat by her side, whispering to the Azure Princess as he fought the illusions.

He repeated the phrase “you can survive” over and over again until it became a mantra.

He incessantly instilled the message to never accept death. As if he had no doubt that this conviction would become her will to live.

He kept saying it over and over again and when he ran out of things to say, he would grab at any triviality to discuss.

What he saw that day, what he ate, what was outside, how the weather was, the expressions on the maids’ faces.

He would talk about how the world was moving, what was happening…. he was constantly pouring endless stories into the ears of the unresponsive Azure Princess.

Following Seol Ran’s advice to feed her dried fish and spirit water, the groans of pain that came out every time as if she was dying subsided a little.

The pain that felt like her body was on fire was still there though.

“Why…”

At last, the Azure Princess who had become able to utter a few words asked Seol Tae Pyeong,

“Why… to such an extent…”

Was it a question of why he went to such lengths?

Truthfully, there was nothing to gain for Seol Tae Pyeong by saving the Azure Princess to this extent.

According to the contents of the Heavenly Dragon Love Story, the Azure Princess Jin Cheong Lang, would survive without Seol Tae Pyeong having to do anything.

The fate of the maids of the Azure Dragon Palace was uncertain but at least that fact was clear.

Then, what Seol Tae Pyeong needed to do was obvious. He could just leave her and walk away.

If left alone, she would naturally endure and recover. How painful the process would be, and what became of the maids who initially tended to the Azure Princess with all their hearts, was unknown…

Yet despite this, Seol Tae Pyeong devoted himself wholeheartedly to helping the Azure Princess.

The reason was laughably simple.

Fu*k it, who has the time to justify helping someone with long-winded reasons?

Was it normal to weigh understanding and calculations when the young Azure Princess, who should be enjoying life, was struggling in such insane pain?

Who in the world would look for a reason not to pull a drowning person out of the water right in front of him?

If you save them and they start asking for more, then one can simply thrash them later. To calculate gains and losses before even offering help is the act of the weak and cowardly.

“It’s because that’s what a true man does.”

The absurdity of the statement nearly made the Azure Princess’s mind go numb again.

This Seol Tae Pyeong, this man seemed out of his mind too, yet she couldn’t help but marvel at his straightforward integrity.

Once again, a wave of pain that felt as if her body was on fire surged through. The fever incessantly whispered death into her spirit.

Perhaps she had reached her limit as spiritual energy burst forth from the petite frame of the Azure Princess. The sinister crimson energy took the form of a snake before coiling tightly around her body and flicking its tongue menacingly.

Wasn’t it said that this fever was part of the process of welcoming divine energy?

That mysterious form taking the shape of a snake… comes with yet another strong illusion.

It ordered him to draw a sword and stab the girl before him, right now.

Yet, Seol Tae Pyeong’s sword showed no sign of being drawn.

Seol Tae Pyeong, a warrior of the White Immortal Palace, never points his sword at people. He may cut objects or wild animals, but he never recklessly slashes at a human throat.

His unnervingly steadfast conviction was such that even a god wouldn’t find a way to break it.

The Azure Princess felt her consciousness fading again. She was overwhelmed by the rising fever and coughed up blood once more.

And so, Seol Tae Pyeong’s words, which she might have heard hundreds of times, continued to be whispered again.

Even amidst the storm of illusions, he spoke like a machine while enduring everything until the very end.

“Lady Azure Princess, you must never stop striving to survive.”

“Even if the odds are one in a hundred, one in a thousand, no matter how foolish or meaningless it may seem, you must survive.”

Do you understand?

Humans exist to live.

The conviction in Seol Tae Pyeong’s voice seemed to envelop her heart in an inexplicable warmth.

For the first time, the Azure Princess Jin Cheong Lang, was not afraid to close her eyes.

And so, many nights passed that way.

Though the fever showed no signs of abating, the Azure Princess faintly felt a warm presence in her hazy gaze.

Truly, he was a strange man.

With that thought cradled in her heart…. she drifted into the depths of deep sleep.

***

The ethereal moonlight from the crescent moon enveloped the gates of the inner palace.

When the door creaked open and a warrior emerged, the guards stationed at the palace were taken aback.

They had been informed that a warrior from the White Immortal Palace had entered the inner palace on official duty. However, the white uniform of the man emerging from the inner palace was stained red in several places.

“Good heavens… What happened inside?”

“…….”

The divine fever of the Azure Princess had to remain a secret for now.

“I fell.”

“But that doesn’t make any…”

After hastily brushing off the matter and stepping out of the inner palace, the high sky of Cheongdo Palace caught my eye.

The dark night was filled with the sounds of insects within the palace grounds, tickling my ears all the more.

I had done everything in my power. It was time to return to the White Immortal Palace, report to the elder, and rest.

But perhaps due to the repeated self-harm and the illusions, my mind was heavily preoccupied.

I found myself staggering and eventually had to sit down on a standing stone nearby. It was late at night with no one around, but I couldn’t help worrying about attracting unwanted attention from the guards of the inner palace.

It seemed not just late but almost dawn, with daybreak nearing.

How many days have I spent within the Azure Dragon Palace? I could no longer keep track of time.

It was the moment I tried to gather my strength to hurry back to the White Immortal Palace.

“I knew this would happen, Tae Pyeong.”

Did she follow me from the inner palace under the pretext of running an errand? Seol Ran’s voice was suddenly close at hand.

Her lips were jutted out in an angry expression.

After sitting beside me, Seol Ran grabbed my arm and lifted the sleeve.

Most of the wounds had been treated by the maids of the Azure Dragon Palace. The medicine Seol Ran had brought with her was no longer needed.

“Still… they did treat you… They didn’t treat you too harshly after all…”

“Ran-noonim. I told you not to casually leave the inner palace…”

“If you were so bothered by that, you shouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. Haah.”

Seol Ran sighed in frustration and sat down on the standing stone beside me.

“It seems you couldn’t just walk by seeing someone suffering from divine fever.”

After a while, Seol Ran’s mood seemed to lighten, and with a softer sigh, she shook her head.

“You should have just gave the medicine and kept an eye on her. Why go to such lengths?”

“Only those who have suffered divine fever can understand certain things. Perhaps the White Immortal Elder thought the same.”

Seol Ran’s expression seemed to be asking what I meant by that.

I spoke while rubbing my wounds.

“Those who most wish to die are the ones who need to be given a reason to live.”

In the agony that feels like being consumed by fire, the chances of survival are incredibly slim.

It wasn’t enough to just clean up their room and feed them pills to keep them sane.

“I can’t help but wonder what it must be like to have a warrior you’ve never seen before come and keep talking about trivial stuff…”

“I don’t know, noonim. But I think it would have some effect, at least.”

“Really?”

“Do you remember when I was afflicted with divine fever? Every night, you sat by my side while I was suffering from the fever and recounted every day’s events in detail.”

Some days, she would share stories she heard from the merchants about distant lands and foreign tales.

There were days when she carefully described how beautiful the flowers by the roadside were.

Days when she complained about the exhausting effort it took to shake off the pursuit of the guards, and times when she lamented about being cheated in a deal and selling a precious item for much less than it was worth.

Why did she have so much to say while sitting next to me? I who didn’t even have the energy to answer?

She excitedly shared everything she had seen and heard, as if afraid of missing out on recounting even a single detail, to the point where it was almost overwhelming.

“You lamented for three days and nights about how much you wanted the flower hairpins that the village women had. You almost died from despair.”

“Yo-you still remember that! Things like that can happen to anyone!”

“Well, it’s just like that. I simply shared the random trivial things I enjoy all through the night.”

It may seem meaningless to Seol Ran. But I knew from experience.

The reasons people want to die are often heavy and burdensome.

Physical pain, family discord, frustration, despair, mistrust, sorrow, and grief. Just thinking about them can weigh heavily on the heart.

However, the reasons people want to live are usually not like that.

It’s the light and seemingly trivial things that can make one consider continuing to live.

Like how beautiful the flowers looked by the roadside, or how delicious the evening snack was.

It suddenly occurred to me that the sunset in the sky I looked up at on my way home was so beautiful.

It was just such things, collected together, that allowed human beings to live on with momentum.

This was the proof that humans exist to keep living.

For a while, we sat side by side on the small standing stone. And I looked at the sky adorned with a crescent moon with Seol Ran.

Although I was tired, I felt an inexplicable refreshing feeling.

The moon seemed to smile.

Closing my eyes tightly while listening to the sound of the crickets, my lips too curved in a smile, following the moon’s lead.

I wondered if I had done something foolish, yet it didn’t feel like such a bad feeling after all…

For a moment, we just sat there while surrendering ourselves to the cool night air.

It was a deep long autumn night.

***

Chirp chirp, 

The sound of a sparrow chirping crossed through the window.

The girl lying in the luxurious bed suddenly opened her eyes. The cool sensation of sweat drying off her body, something she hadn’t felt in a long time, brought her a feeling of unease.

The light was dazzling.

The morning sunlight poured in through the window left open for ventilation.

The cotton cloth hung over the window fluttered in the cool morning breeze. The freshness felt amidst that breeze was like a sensation she had never experienced before.

With every movement, she braced herself for the heat and the sharp pain she was accustomed to. However, the pain that should have come naturally no longer visited the girl.

She wore a look of utter astonishment.

She considered getting up and attempted to drag herself out of the bed only to collapse back down.

It had been too long since she had tried to stand on her own, and her legs had not adapted to the effort. But when she somehow managed to grab hold of the bed, she found herself able to walk, albeit unsteadily.

She somehow managed to walk out while holding on to the furniture scattered around the bedroom.

As she struggled to push open the paper sliding doors with her tiny hands, the sight of maids bustling about in the early morning caught her eye.

The maids were all wide-eyed and surprised as if they had not thought that the paper door would be opened from the inside.

The cool morning breeze and the refreshing sunlight of the Azure Dragon Palace’s courtyard…It all set the stage for the maids’ astonished cries to spread. Some of the maids even dropped the teaware they were holding and broke it.

The girl no longer felt the heat in her body. The black spots that had once covered her skin had almost entirely vanished.

Making her way through the maids, the head maid saw the Azure Princess and knelt down to hug her with tears streaming down her face.

After she was hugged by her headmaid who was shedding tears, the Azure Princess was also overcome with unknown emotions and ended up shedding tears.

It was an unexpected scene on a morning without any forewarning.

And so, the Azure Princess spent a long time crying in the arms of the headmaid.

“…I’m hungry.”

The rising hunger was proof of her returning health.

“Yes… Azure Princess… let’s change your clothes… and have a meal… first. I will instruct the maids of the inner palace… to prepare the meal… Sob… Sob…”

“Mhmm.”

“Anything… If there is anything you would like to eat, you can order whatever it is from this headmaid…”

Embraced by the sobbing headmaid, Azure Princess Jin Cheong Lang spoke with tears in her eyes.

“soup rice. Yes, soup rice… that’s what I want…”

The Azure Princess, shedding tears profusely, looked up at the sun high in the sky and whispered those words.

It had been one hundred and sixty-seven days since the girl started suffering from the divine fever.