Chapter 24: The Black Princess Part 3

After that day, it rained over the imperial capital for a long time.

The pouring rain continued even as the sun set and night fell, making it difficult to even step outside the solitary room.

I quickly covered myself with a cloth to shield from the rain and went out to a nearby inn, where I bought sliced meat, rice, and clean water before returning.

Inside the dilapidated house, I approached Black Princess who was quietly hugging her knees, set down the meal, and spoke as I shook off the rain.

“Now that we have achieved all that we aimed for, let’s return to the palace once the sun rises tomorrow.”

“……..”

The Black Princess nodded her head and then started to eat the food.

Rather than eating, it felt like she was forcing the food down into her belly to survive.

It was a pitiful sight but I had nothing more to say from my position.

I simply sat across from her and scooped rice myself.

“I am truly ashamed before you.”

The only sound that could be heard was the patter of rain hitting the ceiling.

The Black Princess who was quietly pushing food into her body spoke in a low voice.

“You left the special unit to heed my wish and endured so much, yet this is all the outcome has amounted to…”

“……..”

“I am sorry that there was no gain. If there had been something meaningful left behind, your efforts would not have been in vain…”

“It’s not your fault, Black Princess. And it wasn’t meaningless. At least we know that the old woman did her best for you until the end.”

I refrained from offering cliched consolations like telling her to overcome her sorrow with sheer spirit or to never lose her energetic demeanor.

But I cannot just leave her be.

I cannot quite grasp what she might be feeling.

Consolation, after all, must be empathetic to be meaningful.

How many can truly relate to someone’s pain through the mere words of “it’s okay, it’s okay”? The Black Princess was quick-witted, so she would see right through such superficial comforts.

Unless I could understand whatever specific emotions the Black Princess was experiencing, I couldn’t console her.

So the best I could do was buy her meals, share them with her, and plan to take her back to the palace when daylight breaks…

“…I regret it.”

I involuntarily dropped my spoon at the Black Princess’s words.

“Do you regret coming out of the palace?”

When I asked her that, the Black Princess shook her head.

“When I was suffering from divine fever, I thought it might have been better to die than endure it like this.”

“Many who suffer from divine fever experience such despair. But you have overcome that sad impulse, and here you are, alive and well.”

I could at least speak of divine fever though.

“The pain of divine fever drives people toward death. It’s only normal to think that way.”

“…This isn’t quite that kind of situation.”

Had I missed the mark?

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply.

“It was only the action of the old woman that caused such dark thoughts. To give her meager food and medicine to a girl on the street, whose life and death hung in the balance …. to starve herself…”

“……..”

“I felt as if I were sucking the life out of that old woman.”

“But you survived because of that old woman’s efforts.”

“And instead, that old woman died.”

“No, she died from the plague.”

“No, it’s because of me. After sorting out my thoughts, I came to this conclusion.”

The Black Princess bowed her head again as she spoke.

The sound of droplets falling down that didn’t seem like rain.

The tip of the unmoving rice spoon trembled.

“How likely is it that an old woman gathering herbs on the mountain will catch the plague? She wouldn’t have caught it if she hadn’t left home to find medicine for that sick child at home, if she had eaten well herself, and if she hadn’t stayed in the mountains like always …”.

“Black Princess, that’s…”

“I regret having clenched my teeth and survived.”

Divine fever pushes people toward death. To live through that pain, one needs a fierce determination never to die.

The Black Princess likely struggled desperately to survive.

“The truth is… when that old woman left me at the foot of the White Immortal Mountain I thought it was for the best.”

“………”

“I vaguely realized something at that young age. My very existence was eroding the life of that old woman. For a poor woman who struggled to support herself, caring for a patient with a fever that never ends was like cutting off her own flesh.”

“………”

“There was a time when the fever subsided considerably. Then, without thinking, I found myself opening the door of the dilapidated house, considering whether to run away… I didn’t want to interfere further with the old woman’s life, given my hopeless condition as a patient…”.

“What happened then?”

“I couldn’t do it in the end… When I opened the door and saw the vast mountain expanse, I simply couldn’t step out. Instead, I returned to my blanket and laid down…”

The Black Princess spoke through her tears. Her demeanor resembled that of someone confessing his sins.

“I was too scared to die.”

With trembling hands, she quietly set down her bowl and stopped pushing food into her mouth.

The scene that must have met the girl’s eyes when she opened the door was not hard to imagine.

The world beyond the door was cold and harsh. It was too brutal a place for a girl who could barely manage her own body to cling to life. At night, the cold would surge, wild animals roamed, and even finding water to drink, let alone food, was difficult.

“Do you regret having survived?”

“No. That’s not it. I wanted to survive. And I did. Because of that, I met many good people. Yes, there were many in the world who, like you, helped others purely out of kindness. However, despite that…”

“…….”

“Despite that… I regret not walking out that door that day…”

Although the Black Princess survived and her life held great value now, she still regretted not stepping out that day.

In some ways it seemed contradictory, but in other ways it was understandable …

At least… I could understand that.

The boy who was only ten years old had slain dozens of bandits to save his sister.

The air was thick with the stench of blood, and corpses with eyes wide in terror filled the scene.

These were certainly villains. Most of them led desperate lives devoid of family or future.

But among them were those who turned to banditry simply to feed their families.

These families wept before the mutilated bodies of their loved ones.

They looked at me with eyes full of hatred, screaming that I had killed their father.

I couldn’t tell them that he was a villain. I couldn’t say that he deserved to die.

I didn’t even know the extent of their sins or whether they truly deserved death. I knew nothing. I had killed indiscriminately, just to survive.

The image is etched in my mind. The families screaming and crying, their eyes burning into my brain. Sometimes I wake up suddenly or sit alone in the White Immortal Palace and these memories haunt me and I start trembling.

I didn’t necessarily have to kill them. There could have been another way.

That is what I regret.

Humans are creatures of regret.

“That’s how it is…”

There were many things I could have said to console the Black Princess who was crying bitterly.

I could have pieced together comforting words that sprang to mind.

Looking up at the leaking ceiling for a moment, I closed my eyes tightly.

She didn’t need to regret it. It was an inevitable situation.

Anyone else in her shoes would have done the same.

The Black Princess was not at fault. How could it be her fault? She was merely struggling to survive.

It was too much of a leap in logic to say that it was because of the Black Princess that the old woman contracted the disease in the first place.

Even the old woman had prayed for the Black Princess’s happiness before she passed away.

Textbook comforts came to mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to voice them.

They weren’t the right kind of comfort. At least I knew that much.

After killing dozens of bandits and remembering their terrified eyes and the anguished cries of their families, I had spent many nights like this … Was I really comforted by such false positivity?

Did those textbook comforts ever ease my mind, even slightly?

Was there any meaning to someone who didn’t even know if it was okay, just repeatedly saying it was?

“Regret a lot.”

The words came out before I thought them through.

The Black Princess who had been sobbing quietly looked up at me upon hearing them.

“People talk about living their lives without regrets, but I haven’t lived a life without any of them either.”

“………”

“I still sometimes have nightmares about the first day I killed someone.”

“You… you have wounds.”

“They’ve healed now.”

In the dilapidated house on a rainy day.

In such a dismal situation, it was hard to imagine any hopeful stories being told.

“However, there is one thing you should know. People inherently have regrets.”

Life consists of a series of choices. Humans inevitably live with regrets.

I saw this in the Black Princess at the Black Tortoise Palace; she always looked to the sky, living with regrets. Those distant eyes compelled me to draw my sword, but… yes, I have to admit that my judgment was wrong.

Even I, who confidently say that I have lived without regrets, have these many regrets in my heart.

Regrets and humans are inseparable. Even if you resolve your regrets, new ones will inevitably eat away at your heart because life is a series of endless choices.

Living with regrets is essentially what it means to be human.

Ironically, realizing this made me feel saved.

Despite nothing changing in the situation.

“So, let’s fully embrace our regrets.”

In the dilapidated house on a rainy day.

The Black Princess let her tears fall drop by drop with her head bowed.

I quietly stayed by her side through the night.

Just as the Black Princess’s regrets deepened, so did the night.

Both were natural occurrences.

***

The dawn after a rainy day usually brings a mystical fog with it.

As the sun rises and light begins to spread, soft fog clouds flow over the ridges and start embracing the capital in their gentle grasp.

To someone seeing it for the first time, the sight of clouds cascading down like a waterfall might be awe-inspiring, but it was just a familiar scene to the citizens of the imperial capital.

Despite the long night, the morning still broke. As it always does.

“It’s time to return to the palace now! Hmm!”

I woke up from a light sleep to find the Black Princess exclaiming energetically with her hands on her hips.

After crying all night, her throat didn’t seem to be in the best shape, but her expression was cheerful. It seemed that the emotions once vented were actually relieved.

“The maids of the Black Tortoise Palace will be worried.”

“That’s true. I’ve caused too much worry, not just to the warriors but to the maids as well. I must apologize when we return. But… before that, I have a favor to ask.”

“A favor?”

“It won’t take long.”

At the foothills of White Immortal Mountain.

The abandoned house where the old woman and the Black Princess had once lived seemed to have been empty for years. Dust was piled up everywhere, and the kitchen was filled with the remains of rotten food.

The Black Princess opened the wooden sliding door on one side of the house and sighed for a moment when she saw the worn-out interior.

Back then, she had opened this door to look from the inside out.

Years later, the Black Princess returned and opened the same door. But this time she looked from the outside in.

The harsh and cold view of her childhood had, at some point, transformed into a warm scene filled with cherry blossoms that called for spring.

After all, winter is always followed by spring.

It was too early in my life to understand that fact.

I put a large wooden sign in the backyard, carved it with a knife and neatly wrote, “Nam Bo Yeon’s grave”.

We made a grave for her, though it was only a nominal one. Although there was nothing buried beneath it, she believed that the mere existence of the grave would have some meaning for her in the afterlife.

The Black Princess carefully took out a cherished cotton cloth from the box and tightly tied it.

“I have received much from you, but this cloth is all I can return.”

Then she kneeled down in front of it and closed her eyes tightly as she spoke.

“I promise you, I will live a life worthy enough to boast about openly in this world.”

That would be your pride. You who have given me life.

The sight of the Black Princess speaking so was quite dignified.

“Now that I think about it, you suddenly stopped using informal language.”

As always, the Black Princess spoke with a lively smile.

“Of course. I am now the mistress of the Black Tortoise Palace.”

***

By late afternoon, the large main gate of Cheongdo Palace, the Great Star Gate, began to appear in the distance.

It was truly a long journey.

“W-Wow. When I think about going to Cheongdo Palace again, my past journey feels so distant.”

“It was truly difficult.”

“Yes… Once I enter my palace, perhaps I should reward you. Is there anything you want?”

The Black Princess walked with great strides now that he mood was lifted and suddenly she turned around and looked at me as she spoke.

“I’ve lived as a commoner for a long time so I don’t know much about the imperial court’s laws. What would be an appropriate reward for you? I hear that the warriors dream of entering the Red Palace…”

“I have no interest in climbing up the ranks. However, since you are not fully aware of the court’s laws… there are parts that concern me…”

“Is that so? Well, those things can be learned gradually… Is there really a need to worry?”

“Then… it would be best not to be alarmed by anything that happens when we enter the Great Star Gate.”

“What?”

As we approached the Great Star Gate, I saw soldiers standing guard. From the looks of it, they seemed to be new warriors belonging to the Red Palace.

“Just stay calm and reflect on the conversations you had with me.”

After that, I headed towards the small auxiliary gate next to the Great Star Gate.

The soldiers stationed there spotted me from a distance, trembled, and then shouted something to the surrounding soldiers.

It seemed they recognized us by our appearance.

As the soldiers burst out in surprise, the Black Princess hesitated and said,

“I-It’s my fault…! I just wanted to check something outside the palace──”

Click!

Thud!

Before the Black Princess could finish speaking, a soldier rushed forward, twisted my arm behind my back, and pinned me to the ground while shouting,

“You are that warrior from the White Immortal Palace! Don’t move! And don’t try any stupid tricks!”

I could have easily shaken them off, but I chose to let myself be captured.

Several soldiers who had also rushed over were checking on the Black Princess and shouted,

“B-Black Princess! Are you all right? Are you hurt anywhere?!”

“The palace guards have been very worried! Let’s quickly head to the Black Tortoise Palace! I’ll report this to the main palace!”

“W-Wait a moment! What is this! He was just cooperating with me…!”

At that moment, when our eyes met, the Black Princess was at a loss for words.

When I shook my head, the Black Princess widened her eyes in confusion. She was unable to understand what was happening.

“First, imprison this warrior! Make a report to the warrior commander, make a report to the main palace, and wait for their instructions!”

“Yes! Understood!”

The soldiers led me to the prison and the Black Princess who was at a loss for words, just stared at me with her eyes wide open.

She seemed to want to shout something but couldn’t open her mouth because I kept shaking my head.

***

The mistress had returned to the Black Tortoise Palace.

At this news, the maids of the Black Tortoise Palace were overjoyed and rushed out to greet their mistress.

For the maids who pride themselves on their devotion to their mistress, her absence has long been a source of great concern.

The maids gathered in the courtyard of the Black Tortoise Palace which was elegantly decorated in dark red and black-gray. When the maids gathered in the courtyard looked toward the door and bowed their heads, Headmaid An Rim appeared to help the Black Princess.

Seeing the Black Princess, the maids bowed their heads with tears streaming down their faces. “Oh, Black Princess, you have suffered much. Welcome back,” they murmured with worried expressions.

Although she went through a simple washing ritual, she was still dressed in rags and the sight of the Black Princess was too pitiful for the maids to bear.

And so, the Black Princess entered the inner chambers with the support of numerous maids.

First, as befitting the mistress of the Black Tortoise Palace, it was necessary to restore her dignified and beautiful appearance. The maids prepared beautiful robes adorned with gold thread embroidery and waited in the inner chambers with tears in their eyes.

The mistress of the Black Tortoise Palace had returned. That fact alone allowed the maids to breathe a sigh of relief.

“Wh-What’s going on, An Rim? I saw that the warrior who was with me was taken away by the soldiers…”

“Are you referring to Seol Tae Pyeong of the White Immortal Palace? It’s only natural. He betrayed his own unit and led the Black Princess away for several weeks.”

“He just cooperated with me. Shouldn’t I be the one to face punishment?”

“That is for Emperor Woon Sung to decide.”

The crimes of the palace warrior were usually questioned by the warrior commander or the vice warrior commander. However, if the crime is more serious than expected, it might be brought up with the council.

It seemed likely that Seol Tae Pyeong’s crimes would be discussed in the council meeting.

However, they could not discuss the crimes of the Black Princess in the council meeting.

How could officials gather to discuss and punish the wife of a crown prince of the empire?

Although officials might recommend a candidate for the position of crown princess consort, once she is seated in the position, only the emperor and the crown prince have the authority to punish her.

This is why many high-ranking officials strive to place their relatives in the position of crown princess consorts. In fact, after placing his daughter In Ha Yeon in the position of a princess consort, the chief councilor In Seon Rok’s authority in the palace seemed to reach the heavens.

Seol Tae Pyeong also knew this.

Emperor Woon Sung, in his effort to groom Crown Prince Hyun Won as a ruler, allowed the latter to make as many judgments and decisions as possible.

Since this case involved the consort of the crown prince, it would likely be left to Crown Prince Hyeon Won to decide.

Yet Crown Prince Hyeon Won had no interest whatsoever in the crown princess consorts.

Until Seol Ran restored the color to his eyes, he was just a corpse swept along by the currents. He was unconcerned and uninterested in the affairs of the Black Princess.

So, the Black Princess will be able to maintain her authority without problem. This was not a prediction, but a certainty.

In fact, in the Heavenly Dragon Love Story, Po Hwa Ryeong sat firmly in her position as the mistress of the Black Tortoise Palace.

It became significantly important that Po Hwa Ryeong maintained her authority as the mistress of the Black Tortoise Palace. If she spoke up in defense of Seol Tae Pyeong at the council meeting, the officials would not be able to ignore her words. Seol Tae Pyeong could argue that he had no other choice but to follow her order and that would suffice.

Although it might not result in a complete release, his sentence would probably be reduced as much as possible. And if he were to return the Great Star Sword, his sentence could be reduced significantly.

– Above all, if the Black Princess returns to the Black Tortoise Palace, you could defend me, right?

Seol Tae Pyeong emphasized the Black Princess’s protection so strongly because he knew how things could potentially unfold.

However, Seol Tae Pyeong missed one very important point.

Because of me… that warrior… was imprisoned…?

Only Seol Tae Pyeong could have such confidence because he read the content of the Heavenly Dragon Love Story.

It was impossible for Black Princess Po Hwa Ryeong to think like him.

In the middle of the magnificent Black Tortoise Palace, surrounded by the care and protection of the maids as she got dressed up, Black Princess felt electricity running down her spine.

The image of the Black Princess reflected in the mirror was becoming increasingly beautiful, yet a heavy burden was accumulating inside her heart.

That person… just… wanted to help me clear my regrets… and for just that…?

Simply because she was the crown princess consort, Po Hwa Ryeong received numerous people’s concerns and was welcomed into the Black Tortoise Palace.

Though she would eventually be questioned by the Emperor about her actions, the first things that greeted her upon her return were people’s concerns, encouragement, and welcome relief.

However, the other man was subdued. His arms were twisted behind his back as he was led to the prison.

One was a crown princess consort and the other a third-rate warrior. That was the only difference between them.

– Then… it would be best not to be alarmed by anything that happens when we enter the Great Star Gate.

It seemed as if he had even predicted this outcome.

Driven by his convictions, he had drawn his sword and acted on behalf of the Black Princess only to find himself on his way to prison.

He was not a loyal retainer who had served her for many years. He was simply a man she had met for the first time who had understood the Black Princess’s grief and acted as he believed was right.

Only then did the gravity of Seol Tae Pyeong’s actions begin to dawn on the Black Princess.

The resolve that Seol Tae Pyeong had shown when he drew his sword in front of the members of the special unit at the Chunhyang Pavilion. How substantial it had been? The intentions of the man who had casually escorted the Black Princess around the Poison Gland District as if it was nothing but a trivial matter. How noble were they?

“Because of me…”

Black Princess Po Hwa Ryeong… bowed her head in realization.

***

– That madman from the White Immortal Palace has stirred up trouble again.

– Well, he did save the Vermilion Princess last time, and there are mitigating factors to consider, so I might as well speak up for him at the council meeting. This could be an opportunity to have him owe us one and kidnap him to the Red Palace. Fortune favors us, hahaha!

– Go and try to persuade him. Find out why he did this. Tell him that maybe you can secure a sentence reduction for him if he were to wear the uniform of a Red Palace warrior. I’ll go meet with the other high officials and come back.

It was a typical statement from General Jung Seo Tae who judged people solely by their abilities. He seemed to have no interest whatsoever in things like the nature of their crimes or their backgrounds.

Jang Rae sighed deeply as he remembered Jung Seo Tae’s words. While he was on his way to the prison dug underneath the Red Palace, he thought about how to start a conversation with Seol Tae Pyeong.

According to the warriors of the Red Palace, they interrogated the man and found that he had been inspired by the Black Princess’s convictions and for that he helped her.

While it was possible that Seol Tae Pyeong had been promised wealth and a higher position by the Black Princess, Jang Rae knew that Seol Tae Pyeong was not the type to be motivated by such things.

Helping the Black Princess escape must have been Seol Tae Pyeong’s own decision. He might appear emotional, but he also has a calculative side. Jang Rae wanted to ask why he had undertaken such a reckless action.

Meeting him in prison doesn’t exactly put me in a good mood.

He felt quite uncomfortable because it felt like an interrogation. This was because Jang Rae was someone who recognized at least Seol Tae Pyeong’s skills.

Seol Tae Pyeong who was bound and imprisoned would probably not be swayed by ordinary persuasion. He would probably sit with his head bowed and steadfast in his convictions. Just like a massive mountain.

Although he knew nothing would work against such a man…. Jang Rae felt it was best to try everything possible.

Since Seol Tae Pyeong was a person who had been marked by his superior, Vice General Jung Seo Tae, it was worth trying to the extent that he could later say that he had tried his best.

What could he offer to persuade him…? These thoughts occupied Jang Rae’s mind as he entered the prison.

“I’ll do whatever you ask, just please give me some food… It’s too much to lock someone up and not feed them, you know…?”

…. Only Seol Tae Pyeong was persuaded before they even started.

“…….”

“I understand things are chaotic since I came back all of a sudden, but you still have to provide meals on time to prisoners, don’t you…?”

Jang Rae closed his eyes tightly with a look of resignation on his face and gave instructions to the aide next to him.

“Go to the outer palace kitchen and bring back a bowl of rice soup.”

“Turns out Jang Rae-nim is the only one who really understands me …! Damn it…! Jang Rae-nim…! Sob sob…!”

Jang Rae had momentarily forgotten.

Seol Tae Pyeong was a man who was absolutely unpredictable.

“Could you also bring some pickled cabbage? And maybe some cold water while you’re at it…”

“Do so.”

“And for the spices, mix chili pepper powder and pepper at a two-to-one ratio, and if it tastes bland, add a pinch of salt…”

“Please, just eat whatever they give you.”

Jang Rae already felt dizzy.