Somebody Stop the Pope – 60



Episode 60

Barbarian Aiden Howard.

He is a returnee who returned to Earth three years ago and according to information released to the public he is a person who has lived in endless struggle for 20 years.

The weapons used are two axes.

He was the most famous of the four Irregulars in America but his fame was closer to infamy than fame.

“I think you know that another nickname for the Barbarian is the Irregular Reader.”

“How could I not know that so many self-proclaimed Irregulars have died at the hands of the Barbarians? Didn’t Japan already suffer once?”

When the Irregular class of returnees first appeared there was a time when self-proclaimed Irregulars appeared like mushrooms due to the ambiguity of the Irregular class.

However most of these self-proclaimed Irregulars were killed or maimed by Aiden Howard.

This is because whenever an Irregular claimant appeared Aiden Howard would come and challenge them to a sacred duel. If they were skilled enough to be called an Irregular they would survive but if they lied about their skills they would be brutally destroyed by the angry barbarian’s axe.

That was the main reason why he was called the “Irregular Reader.”

“There are two ways. One is to send the awakened Kim Si-woo and the other is to not send it. In the former case there is a risk of losing the awakened Kim Si-woo and in the latter case the credibility of the awakened Kim Si-woo as an irregular will be threatened.”

The Barbarian does not show mercy in his hands. It is clear that Kim Si-woo has enough strength to block the monster wave on his own but it is not certain that he can guarantee victory against the Barbarian.

Moreover there were even rumors going around that the United States was trying to nip the bud of irregulars in other countries through the Barbarians.

Although the ROK-US alliance was maintained it was necessary to keep all possibilities in mind because the ROK-US relationship had not been what it used to be since the Dimension Opening five years ago.

“Isn’t there any way to withhold the choice?”

“Even so once the war to subdue Yamata no Orochi is over they will immediately visit South Korea. Under the pretext of mutual exchange between allies.”

The president quietly rubbed his chin for a long time in response to Minister Yoo Seon-ho’s words.

Then he looked around at the rest of the group and said.

“Let’s resume the meeting in 15 minutes. Everyone except Minister Yoo Seon-ho please go and get some fresh air.”

“Understood Mr. President.”

After a while the President who was left alone with Minister Yoo Seon-ho briefly loosened his tie which had been tightly tied.

“Since everyone else has left let’s talk comfortably Minister Yoo Seon-ho. Let me ask you honestly. What do you think Minister Yoo Seon-ho should do?”

In response to the President’s question Minister Yoo Seon-ho moistened his lips with the cold tea placed in front of him.

And then he opened his mouth with a faint smile.

“Actually the order is wrong.”

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“If you say order?”

“We should first inform the awakened Kim Si-woo of the current situation and ask for his opinion. As the President knows we do not have the control to force irregulars like the US or China.”

Minister Yoo Seon-ho said so and looked at the president sitting in front of him.

Seo Shin-woo. The 22nd President of the Republic of Korea. A man who was elected president at the young age of 53 and is evaluated as leading the Republic of Korea steadily since the Dimension Opening.

Even though he is only in his third year of office his approval rating remains above 60 percent which is an indicator of how well he has done so far.

A negotiator who skillfully negotiates with various awakened vested interests including the Jeon Gak-ryun while appropriately keeping them in check.

That was Minister Yoo Seon-ho’s assessment of the president.

“I am concerned that an irregular is leading a religious group. There is no frame more dangerous than favoring a particular religion.”

“I actually consider myself fortunate.”

“For what reason?”

“Since he leads the Limen sect doesn’t that give us a chance to negotiate with them? And our interests align quite well.”

The president frowned briefly at Minister Yoo Seon-ho’s words. Then he slowly nodded.

“So you’re saying that both of them need public support?”

“Based on the nature of the awakened Kim Si-woo that I have met he would not be very happy to be involved with the political world.”

“Can we continue our relationship while maintaining a proper line between the two?”

“If you can’t control it deal with it. That’s the President’s motto.”

“This is why I have no choice but to persistently dissuade Minister Yoo Seon-ho from retiring. Haha!”

The President burst into laughter. And with a big smile on his face he spoke to Minister Yoo Seon-ho.

“Okay. I’ll go and find Kim Si-woo’s awakening soon… No I’ll go and find him myself.”

“Are you okay?”

“Who would say anything if as head of government I went to personally express my gratitude to the hero who successfully prevented the terrorist attack on the 2nd building of the Ministry of Ability Management?”

As he said this he sipped the tea that was in front of him.

Then he asked Minister Yoo Seon-ho in a much softer voice.

“This is a very personal question Minister Yoo Seon-ho.”

“Please speak comfortably.”

“If that barbarian and the awakened Kim Si-woo were to fight who would win?”

Minister Yoo Seon-ho answered that question immediately.

“Kim Si-woo the awakened one will win.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll stake my position. The Barbarian can’t even reach the toes of the awakened Kim Si-woo.”

6.

The next morning after a full day of training.

I woke up late in the morning and was faced with some rather disconcerting news.

“A national crisis-level demonic beast Yamata no Orochi has appeared in Japan. The extent of the damage cannot be measured!”

“Requesting help from countries surrounding Japan.”

“Decision to Dispatch American Irregular ‘Barbarian’ Aiden Howard!”

“Will Kim Si-woo an irregular from South Korea be included in the dispatch team?”

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“What are you talking about?”

Amid the unprecedented terrorist attack that has left the entire Republic of Korea in an uproar another topic has been raised.

It was news about a demonic beast called Yamata no Orochi that had appeared in Japan and was posing a national crisis.

Miyaaaaaaa-

“Yes Snow White. Did you sleep well?”

I smiled as I stroked the head of our cute munchkin cat-type Shinsoo Baekseol who came running when she saw me wake up.

By the way the name Baekseol was of course given by Siyeon.

It was named that because it is as pretty as white snow. I don’t know for sure but when the tree grows up this cute appearance will probably disappear but if Siyeon likes it then it’s good.

When I think of the cute and pretty name of Snow White biting off the heads of demons and devils my heart swells with pride.

“That’s really strange. Are you saying that Siyeon has a ticklish nose all day after she goes to a cat cafe because of her cat allergy? But no matter how much she rubs herself on Baekseol her allergy doesn’t come back.”

Inwook said as he brought out a sandwich that looked like he had made it himself.

I shrugged as I picked up my sandwich and started eating it.

“Even if it looks like this it’s still a god.”

“A divine being? A unicorn or something?”

“I think it’s similar but I don’t know the details. I heard that it’s the first divine beast to appear in our church in 500 years.”

“Is it bigger?”

“Of course it will be bigger.”

Miyaaaa?

Snow White pricked up her ears as she listened to our conversation.

“It seems like he understands what people say.”

“It’s not like I understand but it’s true that I understand.”

Since he’s a divine being he should be able to understand human speech at least. And judging from the way he plays well with Siyeon he seems to be a useful guy in many ways.

“I heard that you barely managed to persuade Siyeon to take Baekseol to school in the morning?”

“Well that’s a good idea too.”

“what?”

“If Snow White were just a little bigger she would be able to crush most players and if she were attached to Siyeon she would be very reliable.”

I heard that agents from the Ability Management Department were assigned to Siyeon yesterday after confirming that she was my younger sibling.

I also placed several overlapping blessings on Siyeon.

I’m still a little anxious but if Baekseol can grow up and protect Siyeon then I’ll have one less thing to worry about.

“Grow up a lot my Snow White.”

Miyaaaaah-.

“But Snow White why are you eating a sandwich?”

I looked at Snow White who was already burying her neck in the sandwich bowl with a bewildered expression.

I bought cat food just in case but he didn’t eat it and instead stole my sandwich.

As expected of a god his taste buds are also special.

The last remaining sandwich cannot be taken away.

I quickly ate a sandwich and then looked at Snow White with a mocking look.

“You still have a long way to go bastard.”

“Brother. I have to work on a video today so I can’t go pick up grandma. Can you go by yourself?”

“You must be very busy.”

“You have to row when the water comes in. I feel really good because I’ve been getting a lot of views lately. I heard that even foreigners leave a lot of comments these days? The Chinese leave weird comments… but it’s still fun.”

Inwook has definitely become brighter than when I first got home.

At that time Inwook was almost exhausted.

It didn’t seem like much had changed but his eyes were still alive.

It’s a proud thing to have a YouTube channel that you manage yourself and that’s growing.

“Then I’ll work first so you go wash up and go. Okay?”

“Okay thanks for the sandwich.”

With those words Inwook went back into his studio/room and I smiled as I watched his back.

I’m planning to move soon so I need to move to a place with a bigger room.

Or Inwook could rent a private studio.

I’m the manager of our church’s YouTube channel so I can do that much.

“Should I start preparing now?”

Since I have been possessed of divine powers the most comfortable and satisfying effects are usually like this.

[Use the active skill <Blessing of Purity>.]

[Divine power helps you maintain a pious demeanor by removing foreign substances and secretions from your body.]

This skill has a similar effect to <Clean> used by wizards and it cleanses the body with divine power. This is the reason why priests who work in remote areas can always be clean.

In Eden it is commonly called the <Blessing of Purity>. It is one of the first blessings that priests learn.

Miyaaaaah-.

Snow White sensing my divine power mumbled happily once again.

As expected from a god he likes divine power.

I said this while patting Snow White’s head a few times.

“I’ll be back soon so take good care of Inwook. If Inwook is having a hard time go and be a little cute with him. Do you know what I mean?”

Nod nod.

It’s so precious to see a kitten nodding its head to what I say. Is this why everyone wants to be a butler?

After saying hello to Snow White I immediately went out of the house.

As I take the elevator out to the front door sunny weather soon greets me.

The weather is perfect for someone to come home to and the sun is just right.

But I soon sensed something different in the atmosphere.

“what?”

There are more agents guarding this area than usual. The number of agents may have increased because our place of residence was exposed but it is a bit excessive for that reason.

“Siwoo.”

“Ah Team Leader Kim.”

As I was questioning Team Leader Kim approached from behind.

“If you are going to see your grandmother off we will make sure that you are picked up by us.”

“The talent management department is not my secretary and I called a taxi in advance using the app. People have a sense of shame so if you keep asking me for help I’ll feel bad.”

“Don’t say such harsh words. Your work is our work. Please take it easy. This way.”

If you make this much of an offer it’s impolite to refuse. Yeah.

I looked at Team Leader Kim and smiled awkwardly. Then I stepped toward him and said.

“You shouldn’t do this… ahem.”

Wherever I went following his guidance there was a car waiting with a body that was clearly different from the passenger cars I had ridden in so far and had horsepower in it.

At first glance it was clearly a large luxury sedan that only the CEOs of large corporations would drive.

“I won’t be driving today. Instead I’ll be quietly following along in the car behind you.”

“yes?”

“You will find out more details when you get in the back seat. Then I will see you later.”

He said so and then quietly stepped back.

I tilted my head as I looked at Team Leader Kim’s back.

Is Minister Yoo Seon-ho driving? No if it was Minister Yoo Seon-ho Team Leader Kim would have driven it himself. That’s usually how it is.

So who the hell is this guy riding here?

The security force is also considerable but is someone like the Prime Minister here?

I racked my brain a few times but it didn’t come to a conclusion easily. So I just opened the car door and muttered to myself.

“If someone saw it they would think the president was riding it…”

That was when.

“Oh how did you know? I told the security guards to stay a little farther away but it looks like they noticed.”

“yes?”

A man was sitting in the spacious back seat.

A middle-aged man wearing a neat black suit and purple tie with his hair neatly slicked back in a 2:8 part.

The man who seemed like I had seen him on TV a few times extended his hand to me with a leisurely smile.

“Nice to meet you Kim Si-woo the awakened one. My name is Seo Shin-woo and I hold the honorable position of President.”

Our Pope please stop this