Somebody Stop the Pope – 3



Episode 3

3.

To cut to the chase there was no touching reunion that I had hoped for.

instead.

“Inwook. Boil three more packs of ramen. Make the water a little bubbling. Do you know what I like?”

There was some impressive food.

The combination of the ramen my little brother made for me and my grandmother’s pickled kimchi was truly moving to me.

Even though I was the Pope in Eden and had access to all the precious things I never experienced anything like this.

Ramen to eat after returning home after suffering in another world for 10 years.

People who haven’t tried this really don’t know.

“You really can’t believe it?”

Inwook who had been quietly boiling ramen for a while looked at me and said.

“What? I’m back?”

“That too but I just can’t believe this situation.”

“why?”

“My brother who I thought was dead came back after five years and while explaining things to you he was eating ten packages of ramen. Don’t you think something is wrong with the order?”

Oh what should I say now?

I said this while handing over the chopsticks I was holding to Inwook.

“You’re upset because I ate alone. It seems like you can’t sit still and watch me eat alone whether in the past or now. Then you eat some too.”

Inwook has always had a big appetite.

But it seems like this wasn’t the reaction Inwook wanted.

Inwook stared at me as I held out my chopsticks then sighed and nodded.

“…Looking at how pathetic you are you really are my brother. Haa. So let’s continue with the story we were talking about earlier. You spent 10 years in a world called Eden? That’s 5 years on Earth?”

I think I explained everything I experienced in Eden but it seems it wasn’t enough for Inwook to accept.

I took a sip of the water next to me and shrugged my shoulders as I answered.

“Isn’t it great that my brother came back safely like this? What are you curious about?”

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“Everything. If you spent ten years in the other world what on earth did you do and how did you come back? That’s the most important thing so why are you leaving it all out?”

“Because it’s not a pleasant story.”

How horrible it must have been for the world to have fallen to demons for the most part.

And how much blood was on my hands to survive in that world.

On a happy day like today I didn’t want to tell Inwook that depressing and terrible story.

Unlike Dong-sik from the Ability Management Department who investigated me earlier In-wook is my family.

These are my family members who must have suffered a lot because of me.

I didn’t want to see those people worrying and feeling sorry for me even after I came back.

So I thought about it for quite a while and then smiled faintly and said

“It won’t be particularly fun.”

“Dude. Do you know who the worst kid in the world is?”

“What kind of bird is it?”

“A kid who makes you wonder so much but doesn’t tell you anything.”

“So am I that kind of guy?”

“I hope not.”

Looking at his cocky snout Inwook is still the same.

But looking at his gloomy face I could tell that he was feeling sorry for me while saying that.

“I’ll only tell you this once so listen carefully.”

After saying that I started telling Inwook the same stories I had told Dongshik that morning.

Of course some parts were self-censored.

The cruel stories such as how the Queen of Dreams was killed by cutting her into pieces or how the Dragon King’s Dragon Heart was extracted are just toned down to something like ‘the Demon Kings were defeated.’

To put it simply it is a story that can be summarized as ‘a story of crossing over to another world becoming the Pope and saving the continent’ and he added a story about his experience returning to Earth this morning.

Did we talk like that for about 30 minutes?

Inwook who had seen the compressed summary that even the Daechi-dong 1st class instructors could not help but admire stared at me and said.

“Don’t you think it’s too shabby considering the 10 years that have passed?”

“of course.”

“Why is that a given?”

“You said it’s been 10 years but you’ve only been fighting for 7 years? Then should I tell you in detail who I fought with when where and how? If you hear that you’ll be scared and won’t be able to sleep well tonight.”

At my words Inwook shook his head sighed and then poured me some water as he spoke.

“So you’re saying that you fought against demons in a world called Eden for ten years and then returned? And later became the Pope. Right?”

“It may be hard to believe but…..”

“Believe me.”

“huh?”

“I believe it.”

That confident answer made me feel even more embarrassed.

Dong-sik and In-wook who listened to my story earlier are the same.

Why do people so easily believe stories that would have landed them in a mental hospital if they were Earthlings five years ago?

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“Hyung you’re not good at making things up.”

“It’s falling behind.”

“And as for the returnees… well there are some. I can’t say I don’t believe your story hyung. But.”

“but?”

“I just can’t believe that my brother was still alive.”

Inwook frowned slightly as he said that.

It wasn’t a frown to indicate that he was in a bad mood.

Judging from the slightly moist look around her eyes it seemed like she was trying to hold back tears.

They call us family even though we’re just kids.

Just as I was about to follow him and my eyes started to get moist the guy spoke unilaterally destroying my emotions.

“Haa… If I had known this would happen I would have signed a 5-year contract for the tree farm. I signed a 10-year contract for nothing…”

“A tree farm?”

“The tree you named after your brother is growing very well. Do you want to go and see it tomorrow? Siyeon decorated it nicely. I told you that she pulled out the weeds last week.”

Oh that tree farm?

You even held my funeral? Hehe.

“Ah I don’t know. You go and get the refund yourself. And you have to call your grandmother and your older relatives… If this is the case do I have to refund the condolence money too? This is a big problem. I don’t have the money to return the condolence money right now… What should I do hyung?”

“I’m sorry. This is the first time you’ve died and come back to life.”

It was around that time that Inwook and I were having a half-joking half-serious conversation.

Beep beep beep-.

Someone was pressing the password on the front door lock in a hurry.

Bam!

A girl came into the house slamming the door open forcefully.

And Inwook who saw that quickly went into his room and said.

“…Hyung take care of it.”

“Inwook just a moment.”

Kwaaaaang!

Despite my earnest gaze Inwook closed the door mercilessly and I turned my head while smiling as brightly as I could.

There standing there was Siyeon who was much bigger than I had expected with a face that looked like she might burst into tears at any moment.

“Big… brother?”

“Haha our Siyeon! She’s gotten so pretty. Did you miss me a lot oppa? You shouldn’t cry on such a nice day right? Huh?”

You shouldn’t let him cry.

“Siyeon. Wait a minute…..”

“I… sniffle. I thought my big brother was dead… sniffle.”

“Si Si-yeon smile! Huh? It was my fault. Today is a good day to meet you again right? So….”

When Siyeon starts crying properly.

“Hueeeeeeeeeeng!”

“The demonstration is over! Huh?”

“Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

“no….”

…reporting to the police was the default option.

ha.

We’re in trouble.

2.

Fortunately Siyeon’s crying ended with the neighbors upstairs and downstairs visiting her house instead of reporting it to the police.

If it had been this late in the day the real police might have come.

Still the neighbors were really kind.

The neighbors said that they came running not because it was noisy but because they thought something had happened to Siyeon.

They say that Siyeon is usually polite and cute so the apartment residents like her a lot.

anyway.

The demonstration to celebrate my return ended up hitting my physical limit.

To put it simply it means that you are tired from crying and are taking a nap.

I guess the second attack will start when I wake up later but what the heck?

You can think about it later.

“Phew.”

After confirming that Siyeon had fallen asleep in bed I sighed in relief and quietly went out to the living room.

“Kim In-wook… this bad boy.”

You probably knew better than anyone that Siyeon couldn’t stop crying but you pretend not to know your brother who returned after 10 years?

It’s so annoying.

I took a look around the living room which was neatly organized and then went into Inwook’s room which was half-open.

Then the first thing that caught my eye was a desk with two monitors installed and then I heard the voice of Inwook who was sitting in front of it.

“What about Siyeon?”

“Nap. I really thought I was going to die. Why is it so hard to comfort Shiyeon whether in the past or now?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Siyeon cry like that.”

“When will the last one be?”

“Three years ago at my brother’s funeral. I was so young that I didn’t know anything but I cried so sadly. My first aunt and grandmother had a hard time trying to appease Siyeon.”

“I disappeared five years ago in this time period right?”

“Because for the first two years I believed that my brother would come back.”

Inwook spoke in an indifferent voice and tapped away at the keyboard and I could only keep my mouth shut.

When I heard those words the regret I had tried to bury behind my anticipation began to rise.

My family must have tried as hard as I did to get back here to find me.

We three siblings were quite affectionate.

Especially after my senior year of high school when both of my parents passed away in a car accident.

Tata-tata-tak.

It was around the time that the sound of Inwook tapping on the keyboard began to slowly fill the room.

“thank you.”

Inwook still spoke in an indifferent voice.

“what?”

“Thank you for coming back safely.”

When I didn’t answer that question Inwook seemed a little embarrassed by what he had said.

The topic quickly changes.

“Is there anything you wanted to do when you return to Earth? What are you going to do from now on?”

“Well I’m thinking about it for now.”

“Isn’t there anything you wanted to do?”

“There were a lot of things I wanted to do.”

As I said that I glanced at the message window that appeared before my eyes.

[You must complete the main quest.]

[Time limit remaining: 89 days 14 hours 32 minutes]

A system message window that I was trying hard to ignore while reuniting with my family.

In fact I didn’t even check my condition in detail when I returned to Earth.

That main quest was the first problem I had to solve.

Gather the believers.

It’s easy to say. In Eden everyone who met me would call out the name of Limen and accept the doctrine. Even if I didn’t do anything the priests under me would spread the faith on their own so there’s no way I would have tried to evangelize.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while now but I still can’t make up my mind.

How should we secure believers?

Just as I was about to shut my mouth for a moment and think about my future plans.

-Orcs are also the most frequently seen monsters in dungeon gate waves. In that sense I would like to tell you about the orcs’ weak points.

On Inwook’s monitor screen a man in a suit was looking at me while holding a sword.

A suit and a sword.

To me it was as awkward as the wyvern hanging from Mapo Bridge but it didn’t seem to be the case to Inwook.

Inwook checked the video as if it was a given and then started doing something through a program he was seeing for the first time.

I asked Inwook in a casual manner.

“What are you doing now?”

“I edit videos for YouTube. I’ve been making money from this since my brother went missing. I think it suits my personality. I get a lot of work.”

It seems like you were interested in video editing but you ended up pursuing this career path.

I’m glad it suits your aptitude well.

Youtube you were popular even before I was kidnapped to Eden so how could you not know?

But what on earth is this video about?

A game? It’s too real to be a game.

“You might not know hyung.”

As I frowned and looked at the monitor Inwook soon began to explain.

“Didn’t the Department of Ability Management tell you how the Earth changed hyung?”

“Just roughly there are some returnees on Earth and monsters appearing? They said they’ll tell you more details starting tomorrow.”

“hmm.”

Inwook nodded for a moment and then continued speaking.

“Hyung you used to read a lot of web novels.”

“uh.”

“If you look at it there there are raids right? Things like gates appearing on Earth monsters appearing and dungeons. It’s easy to think of it as being similar to those novels. And the trend on YouTube has changed accordingly.”

Inwook said that and froze the monitor screen for a moment.

And then he said pointing his finger at the man on the screen.

“These days those people are the content. They are called players.”

“That sounds familiar? They also use system windows and skills. Right?”

“Is it because you read a lot of web novels that you adapt quickly?”

“iced coffee.”

Of course adaptation is not quick.

I was using that system too.

Could this have something to do with what Limen said about ‘being brought from Earth’?

I nodded slightly and then stared at the image quietly.

And after a while.

“I remembered.”

“what?”

“How to secure followers.”

An idea occurred to me that seemed quite good.

Our Pope please stop this