Somebody Stop the Pope – 2



Episode 2

1. I came back but…

1.

Clearly something was wrong.

And very firmly too.

“Mr. Kim Si-woo?”

“yes.”

“Even if it’s inconvenient I hope you can understand a little. According to the regulations of the Ability Management Bureau various verification procedures are required for returnees.”

“Oh yes. Do whatever you want. By the way if there are even separate regulations like this I guess returnees are quite common?”

“Hahaha… Not to that extent. However you can think of it as a procedure put in place because an average of 140 incidents and accidents related to returnees occur every year.”

I’m dizzy.

To be honest I feel even more dizzy than when I first fell into Eden.

At least Eden was a world I knew nothing about so I thought that would be the case but this is Earth.

This is my hometown the place I wanted to return to so badly.

Since when did the Earth become like this?

And what is the purpose of this place called <Special Investigation Office of the Department of Abilities Management>?

There’s only one thing I know about this place right now.

The fact that it is in the basement of a building located ‘somewhere’ in South Korea.

So what happened was I was feeling dizzy at Yeouido Hangang Park when a group of men in suits approached me.

They started asking me questions about this and that and to summarize the conversation:

-I came from the Ability Management Department.

Me: Yes? Where?

-Are you the one who just returned to Earth?

Me: But?

-We know everything so we ask for your cooperation. Failure to comply may result in criminal charges.

Me: …Yes?

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-Then please stay with us for a while~

me: ???

And then this is where we arrived.

Of course this is not a dark and gloomy basement like a torture chamber or a prison.

Small cute flowers and flower pots placed here and there.

There are cute teddy bears whose tastes I can’t even guess and even an air purifier running diligently in the corner.

Should we say that it is closer to a children’s playroom than a torture chamber?

It was a structure that showed that the person in charge of the interior had tried to somehow break the dark atmosphere.

“Okay then shall we start the story again?”

The name of the person in front of me is Kim Dong-sik.

It was a man who introduced himself as the “Team 2 Leader of the Special Investigation Bureau of the Ability Management Department.”

I nodded to his words and slowly opened my mouth.

“How far did I leave off the conversation?”

“Well I was doing some internet broadcasting when I got a mission. The person who gave me the mission turned out to be a god named Limen. And as soon as I got the mission I was kidnapped to a world called Eden and after experiencing various things there I returned to Earth after 10 years… That’s about it.”

Well I think that says everything I want to say.

But Dong-sik still asked me various questions with his eyes shining as if he was interested.

“You said you lived there for 10 years. If so what did you do in that world?”

“What is the standard….”

“To put it simply it refers to a type of work activity. We need to know what you do there so we can help you adjust.”

The country even helps returnees adjust.

It really does seem like the Earth has changed in a strange way.

First of all since you asked me what my job is I’ll answer. It’s not that difficult.

I nodded slightly and said sounding slightly tired.

“It was the Pope.”

At those words Dong-sik who had been diligently typing on his laptop stopped typing.

“…yes?”

“I told you he was the Pope.”

“Oh I see.”

Ta-da-dak.

Dong-sik nodded at my clear answer and started typing. But after a while

“After serving as Pope in a world called Eden for ten years I returned… Phew.”

I couldn’t hold back my laughter.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it as a joke. Anyway… that’s why you were wearing the priest’s cassock. I thought it looked good on you.”

“Well I understand. If I were in your shoes I think I would have a hard time holding back laughter.”

“I’m mainly in charge of investigating returnees but no matter how much I investigate I never get used to it. Phew.”

“I guess there are people who have had unusual jobs other than me?”

“Of course. Just last week someone with a rather unusual background returned. He wasn’t the Pope though like Siu.”

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I couldn’t help but be curious about those words and asked.

“Can I ask what kind of returnee you were?”

“Originally it wasn’t supposed to be like that but I’ll tell you specifically. He’s the Emperor of the Unified Continent….”

What the heck. That’s a pretty powerful returner…

“He was a eunuch. They say he was a very favored eunuch.”

…is not that.

wait for a sec.

“If it were you surely….”

“Unfortunately yes.”

“Oh my.”

“What a shame. I heard you were a premarital virgin.”

“oh my god.”

Until now I thought it was really unfortunate that I went to another world but from now on I decided not to think like that.

There must be many people who have been treated more unfairly than me.

anyway.

After lightening the mood by chatting lightly we continued to talk about various things.

In the process I conducted my research quite diligently.

From the time I personally plucked out the heads of the demon lords to just before I returned to Earth after becoming the Pope.

I had no intention of hiding the story.

Just being able to tell my story to someone in Korean was a joy in itself.

And I also wanted to finish the investigation quickly and go see my family.

So my investigation was finished in about an hour and Dong-sik who had finished writing his report nodded his head as if he was satisfied.

“Thank you for your sincere cooperation in the investigation. Thanks to your cooperation we were able to finish it quickly.”

“Thank you for your hard work.”

“Now that the important formalities are over I’d like to tell you a few stories.”

I nodded quietly to Dong-sik’s words.

Then Dong-sik continued speaking cautiously.

“The first thing I want to tell you is about the family members you’ve been wondering about. My younger brother and younger sister are both very healthy and living in Seoul. My grandmother… is traveling in the United States.”

When I heard that the vague feeling of anxiety subsided.

Yeah I knew it.

I thought my younger siblings would live well no matter how the world changed.

My grandmother was the same. It was a bit embarrassing that she was traveling to the United States but it wasn’t strange because she was someone who originally enjoyed traveling abroad.

My grandmother has been a very special person since long ago.

Still I feel relieved when I hear this news.

Let’s just wait and see.

It’s been 10 years so Inwook must be around 27 years old…

“The second piece of news I have to tell you may be a bit disconcerting but it’s something that happens quite often to returnees. Mr. Siu you spent ten years in the other world right?”

“But?”

“On Earth five years have passed since Mr. Siu disappeared. The year is 2033 and Mr. Siu is 27 years old not 32.”

“…So if what Dong-sik said is true does that mean that Earth got into this situation in just 5 years?”

“It’s unfortunate though.”

Dong-sik nodded slightly while drinking water and I looked at him and smiled faintly.

It was shocking how much things had changed in 10 years but it really had changed in 5 years?

What on earth has been happening on Earth for the past five years?

2.

According to Dong-sik the returnees are divided into three levels.

First the Regular grade applies to returnees who did not acquire abilities in the other world or lost them during the return process.

Second the Unnormal grade is given to returnees who have acquired abilities from another world but whose level is not threatening.

Lastly there is the Disaster class which includes returnees who have acquired abilities from another world and whose abilities can cause chaos in society.

When I first heard the story from Mr. Dong-sik I naturally thought it would be classified as a third-class disaster.

Even though it was a limited time it still had tremendous divine power remaining.

But the grade I was judged to was none other than the first grade Regular grade.

The reason was very simple.

The measuring machine that was supposedly never wrong could not detect the divine power.

Because of that I suddenly became a returnee whose powers were lost during the dimension shift.

Thanks to you I.

– According to the regulations regular ranks are to be sent home after completing the basic investigation. If you want Siwoo you can stay here but you want to see your family right? So we will take you home directly. And starting tomorrow you will complete the returnee adaptation program conducted by the Ability Management Department. Then I will see you tomorrow.

I was able to return home with Mr. Dong-sik’s words.

This is my first time visiting my home located in Gwangmyeong-si Gyeonggi-do.

“Your siblings live in room 906 building 107. Please come here by 10 AM tomorrow. Thank you.”

“thank you.”

“Then that’s it.”

Booooooooooo-.

The employee from the Ability Management Department who brought me here left and I turned around and looked up at the apartment.

An apartment located near the station.

It was a place I had never seen before not the villa where the three of us siblings originally lived.

After seeing this apartment town I started to feel like I was really back on Earth.

This is the Earth scenery I really wanted to see rather than Mapo Bridge which is lined with wyverns.

“ha.”

I took a deep breath entered the building and got on the elevator.

They said they’ll educate us about why the Earth has changed this way through the returnee adaptation program starting tomorrow so for now let’s just focus on the reunion.

It’s only been five years so my younger siblings’ faces will still be the same.

Inwook is 24 years old and our cute youngest Siyeon is just turning 10. Siyeon’s face may have changed a bit. Children grow up so much that it’s unrecognizable.

I heard that Inwook still doesn’t know that I’ve returned.

I’ve called dozens of times since my identity was verified but I’ve been told I can’t get through.

It’s 4pm now so I don’t think he’s sleeping.

-Tiring! It’s the 9th floor.

This is the most nerve-wracking moment since I came back.

I took another deep breath and stood in front of the door that had the nameplate number 906.

And then I carefully rang the doorbell next to the door.

Ding dong.

After a while.

“what?”

Surprisingly nothing happened.

Are you not at home?

Let’s press it again.

Ding dong.

There still seems to be no response.

What should I do in this case? I saw earlier that there was a cafe in front of here. I’ll wait there…

-who are you.

That was when.

From beyond the silence a voice I had longed to hear was heard.

Even though the audio quality of the intercom wasn’t very good I could tell it was Inwook’s voice.

What should I say?

I hesitated for a moment and then spoke as calmly as I could.

“It’s been a while. How have you been?”

I thought Inwook would recognize me when he heard my voice.

But that was entirely my mistake.

-…Ah this is really annoying. I woke up… Mister. Just go away. We don’t believe in God. Ha. You should call the security guard or something. What era are we in? You’re knocking on doors and preaching.

“No I didn’t come here to preach…”

-Sir change into those weird clothes and talk about that. If you don’t leave now I’ll call the police. Do you understand?

After those words no more voices were heard.

And I lowered my head and looked at the clothes I was wearing.

A black priestly habit without any decoration.

Since I’ve never changed clothes since I came to Earth of course I’m wearing these.

“haha.”

Yeah you could misunderstand just by looking at the clothes.

Today is the happy day I return to Earth so I can let it slide… for what it’s worth.

Boom bang bang!

“Hey! Aren’t you going to open the door?”

How dare you not recognize me?

I knew it the moment I heard the voice but it was really annoying it was so annoying.

How many times have I knocked on the door?

Bam-!

Finally the closed door opened and I slowly looked forward my stiff expression disappearing.

And there it is.

“…Are you going to smash my head with that?”

My younger brother Inwook who was holding a metal baseball bat was looking at me with a blank expression.

Our Pope please stop this