Somebody Stop the Pope – 169



Episode 169

3.

It’s already been three days since I returned to Korea.

When it comes to traveling the most comfortable place is still your hometown.

This is especially true if you have experienced terrorism while traveling.

You can’t empathize?

Just experience terrorism.

I held a coffee cup in my hand enjoying the sunlight pouring in through my office window.

And I took a sip of coffee while admiring the scenery outside the window.

“Haha this is a mess.”

Words that came out of my mouth without me knowing.

Outside the window

“Wow! This is the best on Earth!”

“Hahaha! Hey fairies! What do you think of this ride I made? It can instantly launch fairies to an altitude of over 100 meters!”

“Oh! Raphael! Can’t I use that?”

“It’s too heavy for Mr. Toby to ride… I’ll try modifying it just for Mr. Toby!”

“Don’t forget that dwarves have strong bodies.”

Dwarf human fairy.

There.

Woof woof woof!

Now Beth who had completely adapted to the Holy Land joined in creating a truly lively and frenetic atmosphere.

I hoped Raphael would blend in reasonably well but I didn’t expect him to blend in that well.

He got along well with the existing members as if he had been together from the beginning.

It wasn’t very satisfying to look at… but now just looking at it made me feel like my energy was being sucked away.

“His Holiness Archbishop Leo. May I come in?”

“Come in.”

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As I was staring out the window with a distraught expression Leo came into the office.

Leo’s expression has become noticeably brighter lately.

It is said that Raphael’s joining was a great stimulus to Leo who came to Earth and started on the path of an early adopter.

Of course this was because Raphael was modifying Leo’s electronic devices.

Should I say it is the happiness of enjoying new things?

Leo’s face looked more vibrant than ever.

“You look happy. Are you having fun these days?”

“…You are too kind. As I spend every day filled with faith my condition naturally improves. It is really the grace of Limen…”

“It must be thanks to the automatic translator that Raphael created.”

“I believe that Lord Limen led Raphael here.”

“Are you getting better at speaking these days?”

“You are too kind.”

Currently our church’s Bible is being translated into English and that too was originally a mission given to Leo.

But Raphael handed me an automatic translator.

Since it was a translation of the Bible translated into Korean by Leo into English there was nothing additional to write about.

As a result Leo’s quality of life has improved dramatically.

This was a passage that showed what kind of comfort the development of civilization brought to humans.

“I will give you a brief report on the training of the Inquisitors.”

“Good. I was planning on checking it out anyway so hurry up and report it.”

“Currently 22 out of 32 Heresy Inquisitors have passed the test on the first half of the Bible.”

The Limen Church’s Bible consists of a total of 17 volumes.

The Bible is a collection of the gracious words of God received by 17 prophets.

The first half refers to the first eight volumes.

“…The speed is incredible.”

“The students are very enthusiastic. They are absorbing doctrines like sponges. Compared to the first or second batch of students their educational achievements in doctrines are overwhelming.”

As soon as Leo said that a message immediately appeared before my eyes.

[The morale of the <Inquisitors> belonging to your sect is through the roof.]

[Acquire the trait <Fanaticism>!]

[<Fanaticism>: The growth rate of fanatics belonging to the sect increases drastically! But be careful. Fanatics are always a double-edged sword. Their burning faith may cause a great fire.]

[<Fanatic> occurrence probability greatly increases!]

It wasn’t very pleasant news.

It is true that the more fanatics there are the more difficult it becomes.

I don’t know if it’s controllable.

“Oh and at 2:00 PM today I would like to give the highest scoring student among the Heretic Inquisitors the honor of meeting His Holiness. Is that a good time for you?”

“That can’t be an honor. I have nothing to do today anyway. By the way do you happen to know me?”

Then Leo nodded slowly.

“yes.”

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“Who is it?”

“Do you remember trainee Lee Eun-taek?”

Lee Eun-taek Lee Eun-taek… I’ve heard it a lot somewhere… Ah I remember.

“The survivor I brought from Hamheung?”

“Yes that’s right. Their educational achievements are the best. Maybe it’s because they’re from the Awakened class but their combat abilities are also top-notch. They’ll likely catch up to the level of the first batch of trainees within three months.”

“oh”

Mr. Lee Eun-taek whom I rescued from Hamheung.

I received a report that he had entered our church’s training center but I had no idea that he had chosen the path of an Inquisitor.

“The motivation and mental strength are amazing. I think it will be very different from what Your Majesty remembers.”

“I thought that Mr. Lee Eun-taek would be a good match for Seong Gi-sa.”

“I had a strong will to crush the enemies of the church. I was determined to push those who would tarnish His Holiness and Limen’s name into the pit of hell…”

“Stop it. I get the gist.”

The Hamheung I remember was a hellish place.

How can someone who has survived in such a hellish place with only mental strength think of pushing the enemies of the church into hell?

Just thinking about it makes my bones shiver.

Anyone who has returned from hell will have a better understanding of hell than anyone else.

I drank the remaining coffee in my cup and nodded with a bitter smile.

“Let’s do that. Oh Leo shall we go get some lunch? The other executives all have work to do so they’ll be eating alone.”

“great.”

“Let’s go eat some pork belly… Oh right I left my card at home. What should I do?”

“…I will buy it.”

“Leo is the best after all.”

4.

After eating a hearty pork bulbaek with Leo and taking a walk to Cheonggyecheon we returned to Shinjeon.

Since our temple is located close to Cheonggyecheon I enjoy taking walks there from time to time.

It is said that Cheonggyecheon had completely lost its function as a walking path before our church cleaned up Ground Zero.

There were monsters that appeared so frequently that the Ability Management Department had to directly manage them.

The cause was unknown but it was probably related to the magical contamination at Ground Zero.

But after our church purified the holy land it returned to its former appearance.

Walking along Cheonggyecheon and touring our church’s sacred sites is currently the most popular date course in Seoul.

Since the fairies joined our church’s sanctuary our church’s garden has become incredibly colorful.

Moreover the fairies themselves are good at showmanship so they are very popular with tourists.

Our church’s holy place was still so crowded that if we had charged an entrance fee we would have become a millionaire.

“Hello His Holiness the Pope.”

“It’s been a while. How have you been?”

“Thanks to Your Majesty’s consideration I was able to adapt well to Korea. The other survivors also spend each day with gratitude to Your Majesty.”

“Now I can say I’m from Seoul.”

“Is that so?”

“yes.”

I remember that Mr. Lee Eun-taek originally had a very strong dialect but I could not find any trace of the dialect in Mr. Lee Eun-taek at the moment.

You see dialect isn’t something that can be easily corrected.

“I would give my life for the glory of the Limen Order. Correcting my speech is nothing compared to my life.”

The atmosphere people give off has also changed a lot.

When I first rescued this guy it just felt solid but now I was feeling a familiar… even madness.

Leo nodded in satisfaction giving a rare smile.

“Student Eun-taek Lee is more enthusiastic than anyone else and learns quickly. He is the student I am most looking forward to.”

The fact that Leo has high expectations means that he has the potential to grow into a very big fanatic.

I smiled awkwardly.

It seemed like Mr. Lee Eun-taek had changed as a person.

“Your Majesty I have a suggestion to make to Your Majesty.”

While I was chatting happily with Mr. Lee Eun-taek Leo who had been quietly listening started talking.

“I’ve heard that there are cults in Busan pretending to be the Limen Church. How about assigning Mr. Lee Eun-taek the task of investigating them?”

Basically the Inquisitors must be equipped with information gathering capabilities.

This is because collecting information is essential to determine whether the other party is a heretic or not.

As of yet there has been no separate training provided to the Inquisitors regarding information gathering capabilities.

I’m thinking about getting help from the government in the future but are you sending someone who hasn’t been trained yet as an informant?

I think this is a bit misleading.

But I couldn’t help but nod my head as soon as I heard Leo’s words that followed a moment later.

“Student Lee Eun-taek will not need any special training.”

“why?”

“That’s his origin. Trainee Lee Eun-taek? Please explain to His Majesty.”

“Before North Korea collapsed the organization I belonged to was the Reconnaissance General Bureau. You can think of it as an organization similar to the Intelligence Command under the Ministry of National Defense of the Republic of Korea or the National Intelligence Service.”

…you were an expert.

So this guy was held by the government for quite some time?

“If you give me the opportunity to use my special talents! I will do my best to complete the task without ever disappointing Your Majesty!”

“Is it true that heretics have appeared in Busan?”

“It is said that groups of people who study the Bible together with the Limen Church are sprouting up like mushrooms in the Busan area. They also offer psychological counseling but I think their methods are a bit… Your Holiness knows about it don’t you?”

“Psychological counseling… I guess there was also talk about study groups?”

“That’s correct.”

“The technique is classic.”

Studying the Bible itself is not a sin.

It could be that these people really gather because they want to study the Bible.

Of course this would be an extremely rare case.

The method itself is quite classic. It is a missionary method that was mainly used by some pseudo-religions even in the 2020s.

It definitely smells.

That too has a very strong smell of heresy.

“I think it is necessary to directly dispatch personnel to find out whether they are really believers of the church or heretics who sell the name of the church to fill their stomachs. In that sense trainee Lee Eun-taek is the perfect person for this mission.”

The current head of the Inquisitor training is Leo.

Since they have given Leo full authority it is only right that they follow Leo’s opinion regarding their missions.

I quickly finished my thoughts and nodded while looking at Leo.

“Do that. Brother Eun-taek Lee?”

“Yes Your Majesty!”

“Please take good care of it as it is a matter related to the honor of the church.”

Then Mr. Lee Eun-taek suddenly got up from his seat bent his waist at a 90-degree angle and answered.

“I will do my best!”

Thus began the first official mission of the Earth Mountain Inquisitor.

5.

After meeting with Mr. Lee Eun-taek I returned home after taking care of various church affairs.

“I’m here.”

Coming home from work is always fun.

I returned home with a light heart but as soon as I entered the house Siyeon came running out of the bedroom.

“Big brother! I’ve been waiting for you!”

Our cute Siyeon who hugs me as soon as she sees me.

It’s so cute I could die.

Every time I saw this I couldn’t even imagine Siyeon becoming a prophet.

Yeah we need to make sure Siyeon only walks on a flower path.

As I was smiling and patting Siyeon Siyeon looked at me with her eyes shining.

“I have something to show to my big brother!”

“Huh? What is it?”

“Hehehe I’ll go in and show you!”

Siyeon entered the living room holding my hand tightly.

In the living room there was a beam projector that I had bought last time and Inwook was standing next to it with an embarrassed expression.

“…Is your brother here?”

“What’s going on?”

“That’s… not it. You go and see for yourself.”

What could have happened that made Inwook so flustered?

But regardless of whether Inwook was flustered or not Siyeon made me sit down on the chair that had been set up in advance. And then she spoke in a confident voice.

“I prepared hard!”

And after a while the beam projector started up and soon large letters appeared on the screen.

“My Dream”

“Kim Si-yeon’s presentation will now begin!”

…Siyeon?

what are you doing?

Our Pope please stop this