Somebody Stop the Pope – 101



Episode 101

3.

The next day.

“Whew. This was my favorite gate so I’m disappointed.”

“I told you I’d compensate you Mr. Choi.”

“The gates where trolls come out are always profitable but why does our Pope only gobble up the tasty gates?”

“What do we do about the fact that this gate was the fastest-generating gate among the ones we won?”

I let out a deep sigh at CEO Choi who was grumbling next to me.

This is a D-class medium-sized gate built in Gimpo-si Gyeonggi-do.

Originally this gate was awarded to the Goblin Guild but due to unavoidable circumstances we ended up joining.

The reason was as follows.

-This time I’ll deliver it to the place Si-woo wants. I told the kids in advance and it won’t be possible to send additional personnel for the time being. Dimensional travel is more complicated than you think! Do you understand?

Until now Remen had been sending Leo and Luna randomly but this time he decided to deliver them exactly when I wanted them.

When I asked Limen why the delivery was only done through the gate he scolded me with something incomprehensible like “It’s common sense to go in through an open entrance.”

So what I ended up choosing was the gate of the Goblin Guild.

“It’s strange when I think about it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Anyway the trolls that come out from there will be taken away so we just have to take care of the two of them… Don’t you usually use the expression ‘gulped’ when you see that?”

If someone saw us they would think we had a monopoly on all the byproducts of the gate.

The gate will be raided normally by the Goblin Guild and we will simply bring in guests.

President Choi burst into hearty laughter at my answer.

“Hahaha! How could I not give it to my precious friend who asked for a bite? You can gulp it down as much as you want.”

“No so I didn’t gulp….”

“There’s nothing to feel sorry about between friends right?”

Let’s not talk.

It seems like everyone these days is just having fun teasing me.

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I’m going to have to do some spirited sword dancing for the sake of the Pope’s authority soon.

I took another deep breath and spoke to Leo who was standing silently next to me.

“Don’t you want to fight with CEO Choi today? You had a fight with CEO Choi as soon as you came out of the gate.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“If you fight with Chairman Choi you will have a reason to plant Chairman Choi in the ground like that. If you plant him in the ground without any reason are you a thug or a pope?”

At those words Leo looked at me quietly.

Judging from the complex emotions conveyed in his eyes it seemed like he didn’t agree with what I just said.

So you really think I’m a thug?

It’s frustrating.

I just kept spinning around because I highly valued Leo’s outstanding abilities. And you think I’m a thug just because of that? It was really unfair.

“Ahem.”

But I am also a human being so there are situations where my conscience is pricked.

“Leo.”

“Yes Your Majesty.”

“Let’s do our best.”

“…Yes. But Your Majesty who are the people coming over today?”

Leo must have been curious inside too.

There came a time when I missed my Eden companions. Perhaps I would have missed Eden even more if Luna hadn’t been there.

Still there is a huge difference between having someone next to you to share memories with and not having someone there to share them with.

I just shrugged in response to Leo’s question.

“The most exciting thing about a gift is the moment you see it. It’s no fun if you tell people.”

“That is very true. The people coming over today will certainly be of great help to our alliance.”

“Alliance?”

“There’s no specific name yet right? For convenience I’m calling it a federation. It reminds me of the Jeon Gak-ryeon so it’s a bit uncomfortable to call it a union and I thought a federation would be more appropriate.”

In a situation where the Goblin Guild and the Tale Guild have joined it is true that we cannot keep calling each other by our side.

It’s a federation.

I guess I’ll have to take some time later to think about a name for the federation.

“Ah Pope Kim. Don’t you have that close friend of yours that I mentioned earlier? He came to Korea and wants to meet the Pope this week.”

“That’s good. I think it’ll be okay in a day or two.”

“We will start discussions with the Chinese side next week so it would be good to handle this quickly. I will make sure to tell my brother.”

“Please ask me to contact you separately.”

“I’ll pass it on to you.”

As I was talking about this and that with CEO Choi time passed quickly.

Woooooooooo-!

A purple sphere of magic appeared out of thin air. And in the blink of an eye the sphere of magic began to expand.

[A gate is created in the current area.]

A red warning message appeared along with a sphere of magical power in the shape of a giant door and soon an alien magical power flowed out from beyond it.

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“Kids! Everyone please wait for now. I’ll take care of the guests first!”

The hunters of the Goblin Guild were already in formation.

They all responded in unison with restraint to CEO Choi’s loud voice.

“yes!”

The Goblin Guild is clearly differentiated from other large guilds in some ways.

A strong sense of unity formed through blind trust in CEO Choi. It’s like looking at a mercenary group that has been fighting together on the battlefield for a long time.

A military group united by mutual trust.

There was a unique bond that couldn’t be compared to other guilds that had a corporate feel.

It was clear that they were an attractive group in many ways.

Kyarrrrrrrr!

“It looks like the monsters will come out first this time too. Is it okay if I don’t organize them?”

As CEO Choi said trolls were crawling out of the gate first.

The most basic form of troll with blue skin.

The tips of the crude spears they held were spurting with green venom.

Those trolls certainly pose a threat to the general public. However the beings that will soon pass through that gate are not at all what you might call normal people.

“The people coming in today are not combat workers but office workers and production workers.”

“Then I think it would be safer to organize it even more.”

“Oh you don’t have to go that far.”

[The interdimensional contract has been perfectly concluded.]

[Pay 33500 Divinity Points you have to summon <Laparte Sante> and <Toby Ironbeard> from <Dimension: Eden>.]

[Because you have paid a fair price the law of causality tolerates the intervention of <Limen> the main seat of <Dimension: Eden>.]

I looked at the gate closing the message windows that were popping up like mushrooms.

Phage phage phage!

A pure white spark flew from the gate and soon a pure white crack appeared in the right corner of the gate.

And after a while

An old man and a dwarf appeared between the cracks.

An old man with white hair neatly slicked back and wearing white priestly robes – muscles that looked like they would burst at any moment.

A dwarf who was so short that he could only reach the old man’s waist but who wore thick plate armor and held a huge hammer larger than his body.

I looked at them both and raised the corners of my mouth slightly.

Kkieeeeeeeek-!

And that was when it happened.

The trolls were swept away by the hammer the dwarf began swinging and the old man began to crush the trolls’ heads with his bare hands.

Even so the old man’s white priestly robes were still clean.

The battlefield quickly became filled with the smell of blood.

President Choi who witnessed the overwhelming violence with his own two eyes looked at me and asked.

“Didn’t you say office work and production work?”

“You only said they were office workers and production workers you didn’t say they had no combat capabilities.”

“That figure looks like… um? Archbishop Leo?”

President Choi looked at Leo who was standing next to me with a new look in his eyes.

That was understandable because Leo’s expression turned pale as he kept his mouth shut.

“Archbishop Leo. Are you okay?”

“Ah leave it alone Mr. Choi. We decided to call it PTSD.”

“PTSD?”

“yes.”

I raised the corners of my mouth as I looked at the two men walking silently toward me.

“That person you see over there is our Archbishop Leo’s teacher.”

“…Are you saying this Master?”

“By the way he was said to be stronger than Leo during his prime but I don’t know. I haven’t seen him at his prime. He’s also the one who gave me some great tips when I first fell into Eden. For example the demon’s brain must be destroyed.”

Laparte Sante.

The Vatican Secretary of State and head of the Holy See’s Congregation for the Order of Limen.

If Archbishop Bayer who is currently acting as my representative in Eden is the father then this person is the mother who takes care of the household affairs of the church.

In military terms he was a housekeeper who performed the role of an administrative supply officer.

Although he seemed kind-hearted at first glance his nickname was not kind at all.

“White horror.”

White terror.

A terrifying nickname given to him by people after seeing him wearing white priestly robes and personally executing demons and heretics.

The intimidation that Archbishop Lapart exerted was so great that even Toby who was swinging his hammer fiercely next to him turned into a cute dwarf.

You could tell just by looking at the trolls running away frantically overcome by the oppression.

Archbishop Lapart finally arrived in front of me and immediately knelt on his right knee to greet me.

“The servant of Limen Laparte Santé comes to see His Holiness the Pope the first apostle of Limen president of the General Council of Bishops and leader of the faithful throughout the world. How have you been?”

Toby who arrived a step later also knelt down after Archbishop Lapart.

“Toby Ironbeard of the White Mountain Clan meets His Holiness the Pope!”

I gave a slight wave to them as they waved politely at me.

“Archbishop Rapart. Toby Ironbeard. Welcome to Earth.”

It was the moment when the core members who would become the lubricants of our church in the future arrived on Earth.

4.

-So are you saying that I want you to establish the identities of the two of you? And one of you is… of a different race?

“Is it not possible to have different races?”

-It might be a bit complicated…

“I think racism is bad.”

-…After reporting to the Minister we will try to process it quickly.

“Thank you. That’s all for now.”

Stop-.

After I ended the call with Director Kim I put my smartphone down on the desk in my office. Then I looked around the office where a cold wind was blowing and said.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Luna this quiet. Luna. You should do as you usually do.”

“I am being polite as usual Your Majesty! Why are you saying such unpleasant things… Archbishop Laparte will misunderstand.”

Archbishop Lapart is probably the only person who can subdue the world’s Luna Reventon simply by existing.

Even Luna was watching Archbishop Laparte who was drinking tea next to me.

Archbishop Laparte himself was enjoying his tea with a leisurely expression.

“The tea of ​​the Earth seems to be very good Your Holiness. Archbishop Bayer asked me to send you his regards.”

“Is Eden peaceful?”

“Limen has issued several oracles and some unsettling movements have been observed but there are no major problems. The countries on the continent are also quickly recovering from the war so there is some commotion. But that is all.”

In short it means that there was no major dangerous situation.

It also meant that the leaders of the church including my representative Archbishop Bayer were leading the church well.

“But where is Toby?”

“Ah as soon as Mr. Toby got here he went to check out the sacred stone mine behind the temple. Dwarves are really tough to stop aren’t they?”

“Archbishop Leo Commander of Luna. Would you mind leaving for a moment? I have something important to discuss with His Holiness.”

At Archbishop Lapart’s words Luna and Leo stood up from their seats as if they had been waiting for it.

“Then have a good time!”

“I’ll wait outside. Okay.”

“Hey you guys if you run away like that…”

Boom!

The two disappeared in an instant as the door closed.

I tried to sneak out after them

“Please sit down Your Majesty.”

“…yes.”

Archbishop Laparte’s words forced us back to our original position.

And after a while.

“There are more than one or two problems I have discovered while coming here. I think we should start discussing the most urgent issues first. You better be prepared.”

The time for blood-spitting nagging has begun.