Childhood Friend of the Zenith – 521 (Part 1)



521 (Part 1)

”’Chapter 522 – Just let me hold on once.

Should I let her go?

My mind is in disarray at the words of Namgoong Bia who said she wanted to leave.

If I have to let her go.

Why should I let her go?

North Sea.

To that distant land I wanted to stop Namgoong Bia who insisted on going.

Yet I couldn’t easily stop her.

The reason was simple.

‘Her eyes’

The way Namgoong Bia looked at me was clearer than ever.

The vacant look in her eyes had vanished and her blue eyes sparkled like jewels.

As if she had found her path.

Seeing those unusually bright eyes made it incredibly difficult to tell her not to go.

I did say it though.

I asked her not to go.

Not to leave me behind in that faraway place.

I wanted to say that.

Even if it was pathetic and petty. I just wanted to hold onto Namgoong Bia like that.

It was truly a shameless feeling.

Having pushed it away so much that I didn’t want to feel it now I was wrapped up in emotions like a seed sprouting.

This was a bitter desire for possession not love.

Because I had Namgoong Bia in my heart that space could no longer grow without restraint.

But.

“I have to go.”

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Even with my plea for her not to go Namgoong Bia looked at me with clear eyes.

So pure and distinct.

It was just pathetic that she was showing me the eyes she rarely revealed.

So should I let her go? Just stand by quietly?

That couldn’t be.

To gain the strength to protect myself? To go to the North Sea for that?

What a ridiculous notion.

‘Who is protecting whom?’

How am I rolling around?

And for what purpose am I rolling around to protect myself in this life?

That was nonsense.

I wanted to shout it out loud.

‘It’s not you protecting me. It’s me protecting you.’

So just stay quietly by my side.

I wanted to spit out such trivial words but I had to bite my tongue and hold back.

This damned affection stirs up my desire for possession while forcing me to endure it.

So I couldn’t say it.

However even if I couldn’t speak my actions weren’t restrained.

I stood facing Namgoong Bia.

“…”

As I quietly looked at her our gazes met.

She didn’t look away.

I stared deeply into her blue eyes.

‘…’

Looking into those eyes made me want to look away almost instinctively.

When was it?

When did I look at her so slowly?

I tried hard to recall but.

‘I don’t think there was such a time.’

As far as I knew there hadn’t been.

I had no memory of looking at Namgoong Bia’s appearance in such detail.

Maybe that’s why I was seeing her so deeply.

The blue hue in her lightly flowing white hair her snow-white skin. Perhaps she had put on some makeup as there was a subtle atmosphere around her eyes.

She was beautiful.

She was still beautiful.

While I was calmly observing her.

“…”

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I noticed the ornament in Namgoong Bia’s hair.

It was the crescent-shaped ornament I had given her.

She was still wearing it.

Having bought her something so cheap it now looked a bit worn.

Next time I should buy her something a little better.

‘Hah.’

Thinking that I let out a short sigh.

Am I going crazy thinking about such things now?

All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind.

I knew.

The destination of all these thoughts was an attempt to avoid facing the day I despised.

Maybe that’s why.

It didn’t work.

There was no way I could turn away.

If I could I wouldn’t have kept Namgoong Bia by my side in the first place.

She probably wouldn’t know how significant the choice of keeping her by my side was.

Moreover I hoped she wouldn’t know.

Sreung.

A chilling sound reached my ears.

It was the sound of Namgoong Bia drawing her sword.

I asked watching her.

“Are you really going to do it?”

“Yes….”

In response to my question Namgoong Bia nodded firmly.

Her posture was straight. It was honest.

Duel.

Despite my unreasonable demand Namgoong Bia accepted without hesitation.

There was no way this could work.

No matter how much of a genius Namgoong Bia was this was a different realm.

She must have known that as well.

Yet the reason she accepted was.

‘… It must be because of my ridiculous condition.’

The condition attached to this duel was probably the reason.

We would duel using swords.

Since just having a duel made no sense I attached this condition.

Additionally I mixed in a play on words that it wasn’t about winning against me but about gaining recognition.

This was my cunning way to ensure that Namgoong Bia would agree to the duel.

Somehow she had to present something that would convince her as well.

Thus.

I would defeat her and make her give up.

That was my goal now.

Pathetic right?

‘I know. I know that much….’

I know it well.

But I just didn’t want to let Namgoong Bia go.

Leaving aside the times I desperately shouted for her to go.

Now I was in a situation where I couldn’t afford to be without her. Especially in a state like this.

‘… My mind isn’t right.’

I hadn’t told anyone but my mental state was not normal right now.

I needed time to gather my thoughts and to understand the changes in my emotional state and mind.

Given the situation I was hoping that Namgoong Bia wouldn’t leave right now.

Whether it was being scolded for my pathetic desire for possession or being pointed at for my selfishness my heart felt that way regardless.

Facing Namgoong Bia’s sword I also drew my sword.

It was a steel sword I had hastily grabbed from around.

If it were up to me I would want to use a fine sword but that seemed too much.

As I drew my sword I felt the gazes around me.

The gazes of Baekryeon and Gwaeseon.

The gazes I felt were filled with curiosity probably because I had said I would duel Namgoong Bia with a sword.

They must be quite curious about how I intended to fight with this.

To them it must seem like a rather strange situation.

The difference in skill was clear.

However for a martial artist to wield a sword meant that I was ultimately giving up my main martial arts and fighting which could be seen as fighting with both arms tied behind my back.

I knew nothing about swords.

Even if I used qi without understanding it would be half-baked sword qi.

And since I had no idea how to use it I would just be swinging it around.

If I were to fight against the fully matured Namgoong Bia I would lose unless something unexpected happened.

At least that’s how it would seem to them.

Namgoong Bia knew me so she might not think so.

But judging by the outcome of the duel she would probably think the same.

However.

‘… No. Please take care of me.’

I had none other than Hwasan Seonggeom Shincheol by my side.”’