Childhood Friend of the Zenith – 472



472

**Chapter 473 – Ten Thousand.**

There is a nameless woman.

No there have been times when she had names but she never attached any feelings or significance to them.

After all names would disappear with time.

It would be rather troublesome to get attached to them.

If that were the case they would linger in her heart and become a nuisance when she repeated the next time.

The woman must continue to repeat her life.

That was the task given to her until she reached the desired outcome.

How many times has that been?

There are so many that she cannot recall them all.

Now if she were to remember her ‘first’ time it would be around a thousand times or more.

Numbers are no longer important now.

Let’s simply call it ten thousand.

It is likely that there are several times more than that but the woman decided to think of it as ten thousand.

A life full of repetitions.

At this point she has lost the original meaning of why she must repeat this.

As she repeated the process she somehow moved toward a better direction and ended up here.

Still the woman struggled to recall her memories.

She had to remember the times when she had a name.

She had to record the times when she could smile even if just for a moment.

That was the driving force that allowed her to endure.

-■■Ah.

She recalls the name that was called out to her seemingly affectionately yet bluntly.

It is a name she will never hear again.

When she returns to the beginning everything will become as if it never happened.

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Even important memories would be twisted into delusions.

The woman had done many things throughout her long life.

She had become the owner of the Central Plains’ largest Trading Company.

She had also been the leader of the largest escort agency in history.

There was a time when she became the Alliance Leader of the Murim Alliance.

She even remembered being the Clan Head of a prominent family.

She had lived so many lives.

She had done so many things.

Yet the end of every life was always the same.

A crumbling world.

Or a world she herself crumbled.

As the world collapses despair envelops her.

No matter what life she lived the end was always the same.

Nothing changes.

She had done countless things in an attempt to do it differently but the conclusion was always the same.

What meaning is there in such repetition?

Is there truly a better way?

Why has this happened to her?

These have always been her long-standing thoughts and concerns.

Of course even that has dulled and faded in the face of unending time.

Yet she had never stopped.

In reality pondering over it does not change anything.

She simply continues to live.

Thus the woman.

Hated her other half who looked just like her.

And yet she envied her.

In a life of repetition she could forget unlike herself.

She truly envied the one who could maintain the same beliefs because she had experienced forgetfulness.

Amidst countless experiences the woman recalls the hundreds of lives where she maintained her beliefs.

There was a time when she tried to save the world.

She thought of it as a belief and at times she considered it her mission.

It is a ridiculous thing.

Even such a firm belief would rot and dull in the face of countless years.

The woman was just like that.

Now what remains for her is neither belief nor a sense of mission.

Such things had long since rusted and crumbled away.

What remains for her is only faint memories.

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– Spicy food isn’t really my thing. It doesn’t taste good.

She recalls the voice that complained after she had gone through the trouble of making something.

– It’s cold isn’t it?

The clumsiness of trying to hold her hand while saying something silly.

– … I’m going ahead. Sorry.

The firmness of offering her life to save her.

She remembered all of it painfully.

She simply continues to live.

As time passed she gave up many things.

Every time she let go of something it felt like her heart was being torn apart.

But in the end she had to let go one by one.

That was the only way she could survive.

Did the woman? No.

The woman never valued her own life.

If she died she could just start over from the beginning.

What she valued was not that.

She started with light things and ended up letting go of precious ones.

She let go of the name someone had called her.

She let go of the hand that had held hers gently.

She stopped taking steps that always came first.

In the days when she still counted she ultimately realized.

She wanted to protect but.

By doing so she realized she could not protect at all.

She discarded and discarded.

She felt her heart being torn apart every time.

That feeling never dulled.

She had to let go of one.

Only then could she live.

Not ‘me’ but ‘him.’

In the end the world that breaks and breaks again.

What the woman desires is only one thing.

Rather than wishing for her own forgetfulness.

It is for him to live in a world where the end is not predetermined.

Belief and pride.

Rather than such useless things that dull with time.

That would be more important to the nameless woman.

Thus she gave up walking beside him.

He was a person who could easily throw away his life for others unlike his nature.

Because he had lived a life where he burned his life away for himself.

Ironically.

He survived for a long time in a life without her.

Until the world crumbled and rotted away.

After denying it several times and living through it again.

The woman could give up denying it.

He must not exist for him to live.

Even though she was convinced of that what she could not easily give up was her filthy obsession and greed.

Isn’t it still the same now?

In the end she could not give up being beside him and clung to it.

While finding satisfaction in casting glances at her other half she could not discard her ugly jealousy.

There are definitely things she knows she must let go of yet she cannot let go until the end.

That is why she can only be so surprised.

“Someone once told me.”

At first he was an enemy she resented to death.

“You sent my time back to the past.”

Later he became a precious friend.

And even further down the line he became the husband who named her and called her.

“They say it’s you. Is that right?”

It meant that she had let go of even the things she could not let go of.

******************

The eyes of the Heavenly Demon upon hearing my question were clearly filled with surprise.

I had never seen eyes so wide open.

How could those eyes always filled with arrogance and something cold become so large?

It resembled the expression that Hyunseong had made in this life.

‘What is he saying?’

I immediately erased the thought from my mind.

It must be an illusion since their faces are similar.

How could that terrifying being be the same as that empty shell?

‘It’s just an illusion because their faces are identical.’

Thinking about it that was also a problem.

If I compared the fallen Sogeomseong’s face with that of the Heavenly Demon aside from hair color and eye color they could be considered the same person.

How could that be?

At the same time.

‘The reason this arm is trembling like this.’

The feeling of the enemy still lingering in my left arm is also bothersome.

This is a sensation I felt from the Blood Demon.

Why do I feel this same emotion from the Heavenly Demon?

Conversely why do I not feel it from Hyunseong?

‘What is this?’

What on earth are these two?

At the very least… it seems correct that the Heavenly Demon is related to the Blood Demon.

If that is the case then it means that the Heavenly Demon and Hyunseong are also related.

Does that mean the Blood Demon and Hyunseong are also related?

‘The Blood Demon and Hyunseong?’

How?

If I think of that the story becomes too complicated.

I would have to delve into how the Sword Lord raised such a Hyunseong as his granddaughter.

It was not something to think about right now.

‘Right now.’

What is important to me now is only the Heavenly Demon in front of me.

I could not think of anything else with her before me.

There would be no madman who could think of anything else while looking at such a massive presence.

Let alone the Heavenly Demon who was rarely stiff.

‘… If I ambush now can I win?’

Such a trivial thought crossed my mind but I knew it was impossible.

I had just witnessed how Sogeomseong was dealt with.

No I didn’t even see it; it was too fast for me to see.

‘The path is disgustingly long.’

Seeing that made me realize how high the place I wanted to reach was.

I knew that merely being in the Hwa-gyeong was not enough.

It is quite uncomfortable to recall something I already knew well.

“… Hmm.”

The Heavenly Demon upon hearing my question froze for a moment.

Then she quickly relaxed her body and rested her chin on her hand.

She looked as if she was lost in thought.

And a moment later.

Drududud-!

She released the strength from the hand that was holding the crack closed.

Jjeojjeojjeok-!

As the pressure that had forcibly closed the crack was released she revealed herself again as if she were opening the power she had been holding back.

Then.

Kuuuk-!

“…!”

I felt the sensation of my body being pulled toward the crack again.

Panicking I tried to gather my energy.

“Is that so? In the end it seems there is no answer other than that.”

The Heavenly Demon muttered as she looked at me.

“The excitement has faded.”

The eyes of the Heavenly Demon as she said that seemed to have lost a bit of their light.

“What are you suddenly saying….”

“If you enter this door you will be able to return to your original world.”

“… What?”

I looked at the crack that had opened.

So that crack is a door to the world I was in?

‘Why did that suddenly pop up?’

It was absurd.

What have I done here?

‘If that’s the case what does it have to do with regret?’

It had nothing to do with what the previous document said.

Pointing at the open door the Heavenly Demon said.

“Now go.”

“… I still haven’t received an answer to my question.”

At my words the Heavenly Demon let out a small laugh.

“I know you did not ask to hear an answer in the first place.”

“…”

“Did you really think I would not know?”

I swallowed hard at the Heavenly Demon’s words. I thought I had communicated but it seemed she had immediately grasped my intentions.

To be precise it would be nice to hear an answer but as she said that was not the essence of it.

It was merely to buy time and divert attention.

However.

‘That answer means….’

Can I take it to mean that she is indeed the one who sent my time back?

“… Why?”

I unconsciously blurted out my question.

Why on earth?

Why and by what means did she send me back?

“Why you….”

“I do not know. I am not a being from the world you were in.”

“Don’t lie. You know….”

“Lie?”

The Heavenly Demon frowned at my words.

Along with that an immense pressure erupted from her body.

“Do not presume to judge me who you know nothing about. It is quite unpleasant.”

“…”

Perhaps irritated her lips curled as she spoke sending a chill down my spine.

It felt as if the air was distorting from the pressure she released.

I was suffocated by that pressure and could not respond at all.

“You are not originally a being of this world so disappear.”

“… I… still.”

“You have fulfilled what this world desired. This door is the proof.”

The Heavenly Demon said that but.

I did nothing.

No matter what choice I made the outcome would not change.

That was what the previous document had told me.

Based on that I realized that I had not done anything since coming to this world.

Did she read my expression? The Heavenly Demon maintained her cold gaze and spoke to me.

“You seem to be under some misunderstanding.”

“… What?”

“No matter what you do it will not change anything.”

“What do you mean….”

– Are you afraid that the Demon Sword Master will die protecting you? Do you want to save him?

“…!”

– Or are you afraid that the scum behind you will get hurt?

At the Heavenly Demon’s casual words my whole body stiffened.

How does she know that?

Leaving my shocked self behind the Heavenly Demon continued to speak.

“I do not know what you dreamed of. It seems the being that sent you to this world does not know either.”

“… You….”

“As long as I exist you cannot change anything.”

“What on earth… what is your identity?”

How does she know such things?

“It is a ridiculous question. Do you not already know my identity?”

The Heavenly Demon smiled at me.

“I am the Heavenly Demon (天魔). I have no other name. Even if I did.”

Saying that the Heavenly Demon gently caressed my cheek with her calm hand.

Whether she did something or not my stiff body could not escape her touch.

My arm trembles.

Was the Heavenly Demon’s touch unpleasant? My left arm began to tremble violently.

The Heavenly Demon glancing at my arm lightly narrowed her eyes and spoke to me.

“You have already forgotten.”

At her words the crack in the air rapidly expanded.

“You should do the same.”

Then the crack swallowed me whole.