Childhood Friend of the Zenith – 434



434

**Chapter 435: Regret**

Even as Dang Je-mun looked at me with a mysterious expression

my eyes were solely focused on the Dokcheon Dan next to the white stone.

‘…How many are there exactly?’

Even a rough count showed more than ten.

With that amount it could easily be exaggerated to say it could buy out a mid-sized family.

Of course it was only natural as the current Tang Clan could not even produce the past divine pills.

The Dokcheon Dan had another characteristic besides the concentrated qi unique to divine pills.

That was

‘It said it builds resistance to poison.’

By consuming the inner pill one could build resistance to poison.

While I couldn’t be sure if it was a recorded fact

it was written that way.

Just by consuming it one could gain tremendous inner arts and it even granted resistance to poison.

Now it was a relic of the past that couldn’t be obtained even for a fortune.

‘Dokcheon Dan…’

It was rolling right in front of me.

It was said that if I just passed some kind of test I could obtain it.

‘Even if I get it I can’t use it right away.’

Since my vessel was unstable absorbing the energy of the Dokcheon Dan would surely lead to disaster.

‘Even if I can’t consume it I can share it.’

There were many around me to whom I could give it.

Even aside from that considering the value of the Dokcheon Dan I had to obtain it by any means necessary.

The same went for the white stone… no the Baekma Stone.

Originally it was characteristic for it to lose its energy and color within a few days after coming from a demonic beast’s body.

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But the Baekma Stone was different.

Just looking at it now it hadn’t lost any color or light and it still contained its energy.

‘Since I’ve never seen another Baekma Stone I can’t be sure.’

But looking at it I had a rough expectation that it might be so.

I thought about the Baekma Stone placed in the center and the Dokcheon Dan next to it.

‘Yeah damn… this is a miraculous encounter.’

I was on the verge of tearing up just looking at it.

[Huin… are you crying?]

“Yes… It’s tears of joy. Please don’t mind me.”

[Ah… okay.]

The miraculous encounters I had faced until now flashed through my mind.

The first was the miraculous encounter of the Geumcheon Yeonga.

The second was probably the miraculous encounter of the Sinryonggwan.

Both had been truly unfortunate events to say they were miraculous encounters.

‘…Life feels good. This is a miraculous encounter.’

That was a miraculous encounter what else could be?

The pathetic Geumcheon Yeonga.

Thinking back both were miraculous encounters of Yeon Il-cheon.

Damn it. Bad bastard.

Just because he’s a reincarnator does that mean everything? Trying to kill people and all.

I’m the one cleaning up the mess they made.

Resentment towards the previous reincarnators was piling up in my heart.

Even though Dang Je-mun hadn’t offered it yet the Dokcheon Dan already felt like it was mine.

“Senior…”

[Yes.]

“May I bow once?”

[…Huh?]

Dang Je-mun made a somewhat disgusted expression at my words.

Seeing that I immediately nodded deciding not to do it.

Yeah that was a bit too much.

“I was joking.”

[Huin… you resemble Sincheol in the oddest ways.]

“That’s really unpleasant…”

Of all things to resemble to be compared to that old man was quite bothersome.

It seemed my words were amusing as Dang Je-mun covered her mouth and chuckled.

So this woman can laugh.

She had only seemed cold and composed which was unexpected.

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Was it because of that? I decided to ask a question that had been hard to bring up.

“Um Senior.”

[Yes.]

“That… it’s not particularly important but why did you place that next to the Dokcheon Dan?”

[?]

At my question Dang Je-mun turned her head to look at the Baekma Stone.

[Ah.]

Then as if she had just realized she clapped her hands.

[It’s a trophy. It came from a demonic beast I caught. I was going to brag about it when I saw Sincheol.]

“…”

She spoke to me in a slightly elevated voice.

It was unexpectedly quite a cute reason.

I thought there must be some grand reason for placing it there

but it was simply for bragging rights…

‘How ridiculous.’

I barely held back a laugh.

‘The fact that it’s from a demonic beast she caught herself…’

I recalled the Suryong River when I looked at the Baekma Stone.

The river created there was surely due to the aftermath of the Baek-grade demonic beast that Dang Je-mun had caught.

‘Does that slender woman have that much power?’

A fleeting doubt crossed my mind.

The deeds of past heroes.

And every time I faced them I thought.

Each one seemed no less than the current Samjon.

‘Just how strong were they?’

And if they were that strong why couldn’t they defeat a single Blood Demon?

It was a question that lingered in my mind.

It was like the difference between the stories of the past and the flow of the present.

That sense of dissonance suddenly sparked doubt.

‘For now… the Dokcheon Dan is more important than this.’

The Baekma Stone had already fallen far down the list of importance.

What could I do? Life was just like that.

Shah…

“Shut up for a bit.”

I pushed the head of the rival investigator back down who kept intruding cluelessly.

[Huin.]

“Yes Senior.”

I raised my head sharply at Dang Je-mun’s voice.

She made a strange expression at my posture.

[…It seems your attitude is a bit different from the first time… Is that just my illusion?]

Is my attitude different?

Of course.

Unlike those who gave me shit while calling it a miraculous encounter she was giving me something proper.

If I had to bow I could bow a hundred times more.

When did I become so proud?

‘The one who offers food when I’m hungry is the master and the god.’

It was a way of living I learned while rolling around in life.

Leaving behind the slight distance I felt from Dang Je-mun I asked the question I wanted to ask.

“Please tell me Senior. How do I take the test?”

[…]

She said I had to take a test to obtain that Dokcheon Dan.

I could do it right away.

‘Was it a test prepared for Sin Noya?’

If it was truly for him I wondered why they prepared such a bothersome test.

‘This must also be part of the arrangement.’

There must be some reason behind it.

If there was anything that stood out in this situation it was.

‘…Can I take all of Sin Noya’s miraculous encounters?’

If most of the miraculous encounters I had obtained so far were ultimately prepared for Sin Noya

could I really consume them all?

Sin Noya said it was okay so it should be fine.

‘But I just feel uneasy.’

The reason was that I was wrapped in a sense of self-loathing I couldn’t understand.

Of course even so I couldn’t not do it.

To prepare for the Blood Demon I decided to consume everything without thinking about what to do or not do.

It was a situation where I had to eat up others’ miraculous encounters and whatever else.

I didn’t have much time.

I reminded myself of that again.

‘Anyway… it’s a miraculous encounter I couldn’t obtain.’

If as they wished Sin Noya had successfully reincarnated or spirit-possessed and appeared on this land again

it might have been better to leave the miraculous encounters alone.

But based on my past experiences there had never been a figure like Sin Noya who appeared.

This meant

‘Their plan has failed.’

Whatever they had planned it meant it had failed.

So

‘I’ll obtain it and take care of that shit too.’

If I could catch Heavenly Demon and Blood Demon together wouldn’t that be good?

By the way this was something Sin Noya had said to me.

While preventing the Blood Demon wouldn’t it be good to do it together?

At that time I thought it was nonsense.

But now it seemed like a situation where that was necessary.

‘That old man did he actually expect all of this?’

I wondered if Sin Noya had known things would turn out this way.

That thought crossed my mind.

At that moment.

[Before we start the test.]

Dang Je-mun brought up the topic.

[I have something I want to ask you Huin.]

“Yes.”

She wanted to ask me something?

What could it be?

As I looked at Dang Je-mun with a questioning gaze

[Have you ever experienced regret?]

“…Huh?”

It was a rather unexpected question.

At the same time it was a question that dug into my vulnerabilities.

Have I ever experienced regret? Me?

‘How could I not have?’

It was a ridiculous question.

My entire life was regret; how could I not have experienced it?

“I have. To the point of being sick of it.”

I shouldn’t have lived like that.

I shouldn’t have done that.

I shouldn’t have said that.

I shouldn’t have left you. I shouldn’t have done it under the pretense of caring for you.

Just recalling those things countless regrets without a proper subject flooded my mind.

Dang Je-mun looking at my expression seemed somewhat surprised.

What kind of expression do I have now for her to react like that?

Unfortunately there was no way to confirm.

After a brief silence Dang Je-mun continued speaking.

[Have you thought about overcoming that regret?]

“Overcoming regret?”

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh at Dang Je-mun’s words.

It was a clear sneer. This was a mistake.

I hurriedly lowered the corners of my mouth and cautiously spoke.

“…I think regret is something to be carried and taken with you.”

[Then?]

“To me regret is something to be contained and carried.”

[…]

Regret is like lingering attachment.

Because I live looking at the past rather than the present regret continues to choke me.

Overcoming it?

No that’s nonsense.

You just carry it with you.

Knowing it’s a memory you can never forget.

I simply recall that time and take steps forward without stopping.

‘Is this conversation part of the test?’

That was the only thought in my head.

I struggled to suppress the dizzying thoughts as I looked at Dang Je-mun.

‘…Huh?’

I widened my eyes upon seeing Dang Je-mun’s face.

For some reason she had a sad look in her eyes.

[So Huin are you properly moving forward while carrying your regrets?]

At the words that came from Dang Je-mun I was about to answer yes immediately.

But.

“…”

I couldn’t respond.

I knew too well that the immediate affirmation would be a lie.

This was something I absolutely couldn’t answer.

The expression on Dang Je-mun’s face deepened as she looked at me.

Then in a somewhat heavy voice she spoke to me.

[Now I will begin the test…]

At those words I snapped to attention.

It seemed like a somewhat sudden start but the sooner it began the better for me.

I had to focus since I didn’t know what might pop out.

As I raised my tension and observed Dang Je-mun she spoke to me in a calm voice.

[The test you will take Huin has neither success nor failure.]

“Excuse me? What does that mean…?”

No success or failure?

Then how will they determine if I passed?

[At the end of the test the thought you will have whatever it may be doesn’t matter.]

“Senior?”

Dang Je-mun began to speak in an incomprehensible manner.

Hearing that unease began to sprout within me.

The end of such sudden talk usually meant…

‘Only that I’m screwed.’

In a rush I tried to call out to Dang Je-mun but.

[I just hope you choose a different option than I would.]

With that Dang Je-mun reached out her hand towards me.

At that moment.

Kwaddeuddeud-!

“What?!”

The surrounding space began to distort.

Damn I knew this would happen…!

As I desperately tried to escape the suddenly unfolding situation the crack was already affecting the whole area including me.

Beyond the tangled vision I could hear Dang Je-mun’s voice.

[…Even later…]

Her voice carried a hint of a small smile.

Or was it sadness? Or perhaps longing?

Since I didn’t know Dang Je-mun well it was hard to distinguish.

[When you see Sincheol please convey my words.]

I tried to give some kind of answer but my voice was already gone.

In the crumpling space

only Dang Je-mun’s voice echoed.

[I missed you. I really wanted to see you… and… I…]

The words filled with longing could not continue to the end.

The crack grew stronger and my mind unable to withstand the pressure snapped.

And when I opened my eyes again…

“Hah…!”

I found myself lying at the center of an unknown pit.